54. A Living Interpretation

I have been in kind of a funk about being a Christian, of going church, and of all things religious.  Not so much about being a Christian, but more my involvement with a church.  I have my rationale keenly laid out, including a biblical basis for my desire to remain in bed cuddling my wife.  But, this morning as in other mornings I drag myself out of bed, and get ready and go.

          It is not my desire to hear questionable music.  In fact today I was kind of put off by the lyrics of one of the songs.  Sort of reminded me of my idea of Vampires for Christ – Imagine two of those showing up at your door to tell you what Jesus did for them?  Would you invite them in for coffee?

          Nor is it my enjoyment of fact checking Pastor Dan as he teaches.  Although I do like the humility in which the message is delivered, and that it is the grace and love of our Lord that is consistently taught from the bar table – we have a bar table not a pulpit. 

          There are a number of people that I want to see – they are boons to my soul.  There are also people that if the good Lord decided he should call them back home – well.  And there are others that I am most neutral about.

          I am reminded that Jesus at one point says that he has come to pit father against son.  In the letter of 1 Corinthians, Paul writes that he expects that we will have conflict amongst us.  Now I don’t think we are called to have fist fights in the aisles, but we are called to live in relation to God, and to express that experience.  We are called to honour the leading of the Holy Spirit – which cannot help but lead us differently, for you are not me, and I am not you.

          Even when not in conflict with each other, we are not called to be similar - For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.

         

I hate that.  The idiot, who will remain truly anonymous, that feels that the chairs have a particular way to be set up, has just as much as a place as I do.  I want God to agree with me.  He doesn’t, in fact God says let the one with the meticulous nature set up the chairs – in fact let the picky geek tell you DREW where to put the chairs.

          But there is something splendid going on.  When I am not obsessed with that it doesn’t matter where the chairs should go, or whether the coffee is strong enough, or if the music seems creepy, or any of the multitude of other things I can get fixated on, there is a miracle that is happening.  God is showing himself to us – to me – through each other.

          It gets better than that – I am being a living interpretation, an expression of God’s grace, to another person.  So is the person that doesn’t want the chairs to go there.  So are the others that I might not particularly like or appreciate. 

          God, and more specifically the experience of him, is so expansive that no one person can embody, or understand, or bear witness to all of God is.  And in fact, I believe that how my relationship with God works out in my life has to be different than how God works out his salvation in your life.  It struck me today, as I looked upon those who I find encouragement from that I might just be that for other people. 

The Apostle Peter tells me, “Quietly trust yourself to Christ your Lord, and if anybody asks why you believe as you do, be ready to tell him, and do it in a gentle and respectful way.” (1 Peter 3;15 Living Bible).  Our role, our participation in Church is to be more than an added voice to gospel songs sung, and more than an additional set of ears to hear the message.  I believe we are called to minister to each other, that I am called to minister to some, not all, for not all are like me.  That I am called to explain why I believe what I do, and to do so gently and respectfully.

So....just in case you know a chubby middle aged man who is kind of socially phobic that has a thriving skeptical view of the bible, church and God, I know someone who is an expression of grace that they can come to know; I can be found most Sunday mornings in church.

53. The Case for Grace

I sit beside him in court.  He smells.  Actually, he smells so bad that when we drove here I had the windows open, and now I sit more than a few feet away from him.  He is agitated, waiting for his case to be called.  He is on trial for shoplifting a few burgers and chocolate bars.  It is a question which is crazier – he or a system that would charge him for shop lifting when he is hungry.

As time passes, and as other cases are called his complaints about waiting increase from mutters to whispered groans of profanity.  Then he begins talking the nonsense that is constantly going on in his head. 

It is a vile tirade of profanity and violence.  He talks about beating some woman and putting a bullet in her head.  He does this all the time.  He was doing this as we walked to court.  He was far enough in front of me that he thought I might not be able to hear.  When I draw closer to him, he grows quiet, but the conversation continues inside of his mind.  If he thinks I am not paying attention or cannot hear him, he will start this talk, and then start yelling.

As we wait in court, he begins to mutter the same imaginings of violence, of teaching her a lesson.  As his impatience grows so does his volume.  The sheriff looks over at us, he grows quiet again, only to return to the same babble as he forgets that he has been warned.  As each case is called he stops muttering to pay attention and then when it is not his name being called he gets upset complaining that this is bullshit and will he have to wait all day, and then goes back to the chatter of violence.

I work with this man weekly. 

I have seen him frighten people by how he acts – he will walk intensely with a scowl on his face and yell.  I have seen him try to push a biker over as the biker rode by – thank God for Yuppies on Harleys or this guy would have had a world of hurt to deal with.  I have seen him yell at people looking at him on the street.  I have heard him as I stand outside his apartment door.  It has gotten him evicted twice. 

Three months before I wrote this he was stabbed, three times.  The one stab wound cut open an artery in his arm. 

Let’s talk about free will. Let me ask you – did you choose to not be like him?  Cause I don’t think he choose to like that.

'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'

The gospel challenges me to see the beauty and dignity in all, to see the Christ within you.  With this man it has been a challenge.  But me, and my co-worker, are beginning to see it.

He and I were sitting in court waiting for the doors to open.  He made a comment about the two women sitting close to us being pretty.  Then he muttered “be cute”, and started his best to look innocent and smile.

This is court.  The mating dance here for men is to look tough, violent – the kind of guy that no one would fuck with at all.  His approach – to be sweet and cute – speaks to the tenderness that lies within. 

As he comes to know us, myself and the other man that work with him, he begins to talk more.  I know he had a woman he cared for at one time.  I know he misses his dad who lives in another city, and he misses his brother.  He loves his mother and does not know what he would do if she were not in his life. She has kept him from being homeless.

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

The gospel also challenges me to understand that all have fallen short.  It challenges me to recognize in me, the same aspects in the most vile of people.  It takes the argument of “I am better than...” out at the knees.  And maybe it is self-delusion when I understand that in the right circumstances I could be as vile as Hitler or Pol Pot.  It also sounds gritty and honest – “Ya, if the setting was right I could be as nasty as anyone else.”  But then I have a moment...

It has been a hard day, and I have dealt with Hell Girl again.  As I drive home I think of what it would be like to give her a piece of my mind.  I find myself imagining the conversation, getting worked up, and vocal.  Then realize how fortunate I am that the windows are closed, the other drivers are paying attention to the traffic and that there is no one in the car with me.

My friend reminds me that we are all somehow lost, I don’t think many of us have really chosen the path we are on, and that we are all in need of grace.

52. The Crucifixion

The crucifixion is problematic for us.  It should be.  It was violent, it was ugly, it was brutal – our depictions of the crucifixion do not capture how awful and vulgar it would have been.  And we, you and I, are responsible.  Most if not all of our thoughts, theology, philosophy, understanding of the events on Golgotha mitigate our culpability.  But the truth is that you and I would have nailed him to the cross; not only joyfully, but gleefully, .  We would have been teaching that bastard a lesson.

We would have hated him, for he was able to look at us and know our failings and still love us.  We would have had a sense of his divinity and we would have known that deep love and compassion that he has for us.  Such is our belief in the need for punishment that we could not have tolerated that depth of compassion.

What happened on the cross, the whys and wherefores are essential to our faith. For me the importance of how does a loving God reconcile a lost people to himself cannot be over stated.  Each of the theories, has an impact into how we understand the nature of God, his Grace and Love, and how we are to be with each other.  No crucifixion – no Christianity.  The events of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ are how we are reconciled to God. 

The classic penal substitution theology states that God was so mad at us and our sin, that he had to seek justice.  Of the people that I have talked to about the theory of penal substitution many have talked about God being an infinite being and thus being infinitely offended by us.  They seem to be mute on this infinite being also being infinitely loving, compassionate and forgiving.  I have not seen a biblical reference to God being offended by us, infinitely or otherwise. But he also loved man so much that he sent his Son Jesus Christ to take the punishment for our sin, thus satisfying God’s love for us while fulfilling God’s need for justice.  I do not believe that!

It seems to clear to me that God did not demand sacrifice.  And I believe that God’s demand of justice was restorative, not retributive.  If, and it is a mighty if, God was the architect of the crucifixion then why would Christ call out, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”

I believe, and as all things this is open to being altered, that it was religion that put Christ on the cross.  We know that the religious elite had conspired to kill Christ.  It was not God.  Just as God did not demand sacrifice, God did not put Jesus on the cross. It was the religion of the day, and their belief in the punitive nature of God, that had Jesus killed.

It is our propensity for violence, for punishment, the basis of the religion that we believe that we need to appease an angry God, that would have put Christ on the cross.  Christ’s message was antithetical to what we believe is religion, the garnering of favour with God, of proving our importance.  That message led to the murder of Christ.  And in the midst of that, and I have written of how horrible crucifixion, Christ forgives us.

One of the theories of the cross that I believe has merit, is that the sacrifice of Christ on the cross, is the forgiveness that he offers as we are killing him.  It is his dismissing the debt of his murder, even while he is being killed.

The crucifixion of Christ I think in many ways resolved that dichotomy between our need for sacrifice, and the desire of God to bring us into relationship with him. 

In the book of Hebrews it talks about the sacrifice of Christ, the shedding of his blood, as being the “Once for All” sacrifice.  It was the same religion that demanded sacrifice, that put God, through Christ, on the cross.  It was God’s display of love, of his desire to bring us into relationship with him, that had him submit to his own execution. The question posed in the book of Hebrews I believe is – Is that enough?

I know that this is not a complete theology of the cross.  It is a work in progress.  What I do know, is that this side of my own death that I will more than likely not fully understand the events of Golgatha.  How could I?  But I contend that on the day, it was not Wrath of God was being satisfied. 

So my friend, and you know who you are, I hope this answers your question, or rather helps you wrap your head around my denial of the doctrine of Penal Substitution.  In all honesty, I see it as being human nature to demand our pound of flesh, or retribution.  God on the other hand I believe just wants to love us and have us be good to each other.

But go and learn what this means:

'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'

For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

Matthew 9:13

51. The Problem of Sacrifice

Psalm 51:16 – 17

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
    you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart
    you, God, will not despise.

This post is out of sequence – for those of you are following along – the chain of thought was interrupted by two posts.  This should follow the problem of sin, and the illusion of separation. 

Early in our relationship, Wanna would send me off on tours in Northern Thailand.  She worked as a tour guide, so she knew the good ones, and it kept me out of her hair.  Thus, one time I was sent trekking in the country side of Thailand to a Hill Tribe Village.  It was rather funny as we hiked through the Jungle to a village that was accessible by road – but it had the illusion of exploring the wilds and was good fun.

As we came to the village we found a chicken – dead – laying at a cross roads.  The guide explained that this was an offering of by the village medicine man.  I have since come to know that the term medicine man was co-opted for the tour.  But the dead chicken laying on the side of the road was to ward off evilness or some way or other protect the village.  It was probably one of the elders of the village that had done this offering.  I have seen my in-laws make the same kind of offering as a means of thanks. 

It seems to me that sacrifice is a human impulse.

There is an odd contradiction in the bible. Okay, not just one, but one that I want to write about.  It may be that this contradiction is a mystery, something that simply needs to exist without resolution.  God is God, and I am, well, limited in my understanding, so just because something does not make sense to me does not mean that there is anything wrong other than my own limited understanding.

Yet, me being me, contradictions are the source obsessive fixations.  There is this nasty business of sacrifice.  Personally, I find it reprehensible.  And there are verses that support me in this sentiment.  In Hosea we are told that God desires mercy not sacrifice.  This verse is later uttered by Jesus. 

What is clear is that God is more interested in our forgiveness of others, our display of mercy, and being our being sorry for what we have done than in sacrifices offered to him.  Psalm 51 clearly says, that God does not delight in sacrifice, so David comes with a broken spirit and a contrite heart.  Yet, Psalm 51 goes onto say that when our heart is right our sacrifices delight him. 

Psalm 51:18 & 19

May it please you to prosper Zion,
    to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
    in burnt offerings offered whole;
    then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Could it be that the contradiction lays within my understanding?  To understand the offering and sacrifices within the bible, or anywhere else, the idea of restorative versus retaliatory justice needs to be understood.  The idea of an eye for an eye, is retaliatory – punitive.  So is the idea of sending a person to prison for years. 

So the question comes down to, were the offerings and sacrifices made done to appease an angry God?  Or, were they offered from as a means of making up for, or repairing the relationship?

I think of “An eye for an eye.”  was this a recipe for justice, or was it a limitation on vengeance?  Similarly, were the laws regarding sacrifices, the menu of offerings that an angry god was wanting?  Or were they the directions to a people wanting to worship and honour their god?

Through the Old Testament I see God telling us that he is not interested in sacrifice.  He is much more interested in a contrite heart, a humble disposition, in mercy and forgiveness.  That God is not demanding of sacrifice.

When I have been a doofus, either said something, or done something, that has been rude or insulting to Wanna, I get flowers for her.  If it has been over the top, I get Beef Jerky.  It is not that she is in need of flowers, or wants Beef Jerky.  If she was she could go get them.  If I was not truly sorry, if I handed her the flowers or jerky as my idiocy tax that would not work either.  But the offering of the flowers or jerky is a tangible symbol of my sorrow, repentance and effort to restore our relationship.

I owe a debt of gratitude to Sharon Baker who so eloquently articulated the concepts of reparative versus retaliatory justice.  For further reading I would suggest, “Razing Hell: Rethinking Everything You’ve Been Taught About God’s Wrath and Judgement”

 

Create in me a clean heart O God,

And renew a right Spirit within me.

Caste me not away from thy presence,

And take not thy Holy Spirit from me,

Restore unto me the joy of the salvation

and uphold me with thy free spirit.