37. Called to Reconcile

There is neither Jew no Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus - Galatians 3:28

This has been a humbling week - one in which if I was so inclined I could see the hand of God in international affairs teaching me - I am not so inclined.  The lesson has been how insidious racism has been in my own life - particularly in regards to white-male privilege.  It has been one of those weeks when my belief that my call as a Christian is really to be a better human being has been affirmed.

And please indulge my self-obsessed writing this week, but if I am to share this lesson I can only do so from the perspective from behind my eyeballs.  I share it to give you, the reader, an opportunity to consider its implications for yourself.

The set up for this lesson has been the woman I have written about two weeks ago.  The situation continues, and I had a huge flash of gratitude this week.  That gratitude comes from an insight she has afforded me.  It struck me that her dislike of me has nothing to do with me.  She does not care that what she is up to impacts my wife and my kid - it does not matter.  It does not matter that I have a wealth of experience - she does not care.  She sees simply what she wants to see.  Thus the source of my insight and gratitude - I have experienced prejudice.

In no way do I want to equate what I am experiencing to the experiences of those judged before they are even met.  However, I am dismissed for reasons that she cannot state - others have asked her and her answer changes each time.  She has been dishonest in her dealings with me, and has engaged in campaigning against me behind the scenes.  And not for the first time in my life, but more sharply with this experience, the privilege that I have enjoyed as a White Man has been denied me.

To meet me, one would state that I am not a racist.  My wife is Thai, and when you meet her you would understand my attraction to her is that she is my equal.  Our son is biracial – of European and African descent.  One of my closest friends, like a sister, is Fijian.  I worship in a predominately Chinese congregation.  All of this has just developed in my life, there has been no intent to create such diversity.

Yet.  I am more than just White - I am Anglo-Saxon Protestant.  It is my heritage that the world was and still is viewed as being created for my exploitation.  It is what drove European Imperialism. It is what made my people look at this land and decide it was ours for the taking.  It is what drove the horror of the Residential Schools.   Little do we realize that we were considered unclean and stinky people as we arrived in other countries because we had hygiene habits that were ridiculously lacking.

The next part of this week’s lesson has been a controversy within the North American Church.  The details are not important - the dialogue that erupted after is important.  A prominent pastor in the course of organizing a church plant in Hong Kong made a huge cultural gaff.  What was alarming was his original response which was, “Get a grip, I was only joking.”  I saw this as being indicative of an ongoing systemic racism that is larger than just the church.  In the injury and the resulting outcry and ongoing dialogue exists an opportunity for healing and reconciliation.  I do not know the church’s intent or motivation, or the mechanics of this church plant.  Personally, I object to an American church planting a church in Hong Kong.  It smacks too much of White Imperialism - the shadows are too thick.  But perhaps, this church plant might be just the thing to shake those shadows loose.

Further I am a man.  As a White Man I was born with an expectation that the entire world exists for my benefit.  It is that expectation that drives consumerism. It justifies the depletion of the world's resources and global warming and the other toxifications we do to this world.  It is that expectation that justifies the exploitation of my fellow humans, women, children and men.  It is not that White Men are the only ones with this expectation, but I think we have perfected this perspective of the world.

As a final installment of this lesson I arrive at church this week to find my Chinese Pastor talking to our predominately Chinese congregation about racial and cultural reconciliation.  I am not sure whether the irony was evident to all.  This was the ethnic group my country got to build our railway as it was too dangerous a job for us white folk.  And there was Pastor Dan  encouraging the congregation to become ambassadors of God reconciling race, ethnicity and culture.

One step further in this insight for me is that I am an addict.  I can take whatever offers solace, comfort and excitement and over indulge ad nauseum until it becomes a destructive force for those around me and myself.  In light of my understanding of my ethnic heritage it is hard for me to separate my addiction from the legacy handed me.  Thus, my insight this week has lead to some rather severe and pointed introspection.

This week has been a challenge to me.  I have no idea if it is the Holy Spirit challenging me through my conscience, or if it is part of my growth in the Lord, but everything has come under question.  Is my annoyance of people getting in my way a side effect of my being too rushed for my own good, or is it my belief that the world should accommodate me?  Is my struggle with lust an inherent character flaw or a remnant of the belief women were made for my benefit?  Is my resentment with this woman a reaction to injustice or the belief that I should not be frustrated with my desires?  There are other questions that have confronted me.

I did not choose to be a White Man.  I am not overly conscious of this as I wake up and go through my day.  Nor am I overtly racist.  But I have found myself wondering how much of my struggle lies in the beliefs that were handed on to me, and that I perpetuate myself?  I know I do better with White Privilege than others.  But it occurs to me that as I wait for my current dilemma, of being unjustly judged, to pass that I am simply waiting for things to return to as they always have been.  My sisters and brothers of colour and different ethnicity have no such expectation.  That has been a harrowing thought, that what has been is just the same tired dismissal of one’s humanity based on race, ethnicity, culture or gender. 

I offer this to you, not as a confession, but as a request for you to see in my struggle to become a decent human being something of yourself.  My Pastor today urged us to listen to the experiences of others, and we should.  I also think for myself I need to examine how I am part of the problem.

I would ask for continued prayers for this woman and for myself.