106. Finding Compassion with Each Other

If we could stop the inflammatory rhetoric, that would be good.  The people opposed to bringing the 25,000 Syrian refugees here by the New Year are not racists, nor are they islamaphobes, nor are they stingy, cold hearted or mean spirited.  Those people opposed to the resettlement of the Syrians are not ignorant.  They have a legitimate concern regarding their safety, and the safety of the country.

          The war we are engaged in is nothing like we have seen before.  Yes, the enemy has a clearly defined territory, and much like any other war they are seeking to expand that territory.  This group also uses social media to spread not only their message of hate, but images of their brutality. And, unlike other wars, it seems like enemy combatants make their way far beyond the front lines of that war, and wreak havoc. 

          Attacks such as the ones in Paris, the most recent and the one in the spring, or the Boston Marathon bomb, or the attack in Bangkok in August.  All are random, all carried out in the name of a religion.  Even if they were not carried out by people acting on behalf of this new enemy; they still seem to be the same.  It still exposes just how vulnerable we really are even in our own homes.

I, and those who stand with me in support of welcoming these refugees, are not bleeding heart liberals. Nor have we been duped.  It is not stupid to want to resettle these people to Canada. There have been other comments about those in favour of giving refuge to the first of the victims.  But we are not star-eyed idiots that think that a simple show of compassion will change the world.

          We know that there is risk involved, even if that risk is over stated.  But we also know that unless we risk peace, it will never come.  There is nothing wrong with us for wanting our country to take compassionate action.

When I first heard of the attacks in Paris I was angry.  I detest bullies.  My knee jerk reaction was to wish that there was an eternal punishment.  These assholes deserved to be there.  It took some time for me then to worry about the Syrian Refugees, for I saw the backlash against them coming.  How horrible, that this group claiming to be a country, has made us afraid of those people fleeing them.

          Yet, France, the very target of the attacks, has pledged to bring in even more of the refugees.  Curiously, those committing the acts of terrorism in Paris were citizens of France, and Belgium. 

         

Those who are opposed to the Syrian refugees are also quite aware of the threats made by this group to hide amongst the refugees.  They have followed through on other threats, and have added new ones.  The bombing of a Russian jet being one such example. 

          And so there is fear. 

          Most are not even opposed to bringing over that many refugees.  They would like to see the process slow down, not drastically, but enough that they can feel reassured that we are helping the right people.

In my opinion, the attacks in Paris were masterfully executed, with the desired effects.  There is increased fear of others.  There have been arsons, assaults, and ugly confrontations within Canada as a result of these attacks.  Thus, the point of the attacks have been successful.

          Those who are fleeing this group, the group we fear, are finding opposition to finding safety.  Refugee Camps are not safe.  This group conducting the war, has made us afraid that bringing the refugees may bring the enemy as well.

Those who are behind, or in favour, of this mass resettlement have done a disservice by not explaining the process – clearly and articulately – to the public.  Thus, leading to reactions made out of fear.  Even with the flood of protests against welcoming the refugees, few if any details have been made public.  Which is a shame, for often education will relieve our concerns.  The other antidote for fear is love. 

          Finally, in the last few days, the process of how refugees are selected, and who we are selecting, and how they are vetted, is being brought into the awareness of Canadians.

So, I will chose love over fear.  I will not let those bullies, and I refuse to name them, stop me from showing my compassion.  I have already been a vocal advocate for the resettlement of the Syrian people, and I will continue to do so.

          Do I think there will be repercussions from bringing in these Syrian refugees, and the others who will follow?  Absolutely.  But not from the refugees.  Those who want to make us afraid, will undoubtedly take action.  And, I may experience those actions directly if not indirectly.

          But I think there are greater consequences for not taking action.  For our country to lose its reputation as a leader in compassionate action would be a significant loss, and is but just one of those consequences.

So I urge you, whichever side you are on to do a few things.  First, let’s stop calling each other names, and being angry with each other.  Secondly, educate yourself, and not from just one source.  Far too many sources want to establish themselves as being the only source of true information – while they peddle lies.  Thirdly, pray. Then take action.  Whether that be writing or calling your MP to share your view. Or, to get involved in the local efforts to welcome these people – even if it is making a tuna casserole for the new family down the block.  (At some point they will have to experience that part of Canada.)  But together, as we are Canadians, let’s find our compassion.

105. From one generation to the next

Eph 1: 4 – 6 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will — to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

It has been a strange week, or actually a strange couple of weeks.  Those of you who have followed along on Facebook, have read about my meeting my brother from my dad’s first marriage.  The meeting was decades in the making, and was a profound experience. For those who witnessed the three brothers, Robert, Laurie and myself, meeting for the first time, the event was remarkable for the level of familiarity the three of us showed.  As Laurie and I entered Robert’s home, the discussion started as if we were resuming a conversation from a few days previous.

          It was very clear as we spent the three days together that we were indeed brothers.  The commonalities ran from the professions we had chosen, to our quick wits, to having families that had no natural children – but each of us bringing kids into our lives as family – to physical similarities, and our escapades with alcohol and drugs,

          What also was striking is that each of us is in recovery, having a period of abstinence that are decades in length.  Which for me, being theologically obsessed, led to consideration of predetermination. 

One of the more repugnant doctrines that I had come across is the concept of pre-destination.  That prior to the start of the world, God chose only some of us, a select few, to enter Heaven.  Its repugnancy comes from there being those who will be born simply to fill the halls of hell.  After all, if you going to create eternal damnation, you will need people who will experience that fate.

Numbers 14:18 The LORD is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion. But he does not excuse the guilty. He lays the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected--even children in the third and fourth generations.'

Then this morning I was in a different meeting of the family.  One of our members, has experienced a rougher than usual childhood, with rougher than usual consequences.  When one considers the generational traumas and calamities, it is indeed curious.

          My aunt, the matriarch of that branch of the family, became a widow five weeks into the life of her youngest child; a daughter.  My aunt coped with this tragedy, as the family tells it, by taking to her bed.  The youngest child spent a life of being passed from one family member to the next, with my aunt resistant to any one member of the family bringing her child into their home.

          This child, in turn, had her own children.  Each of those children, grew up distant from her.  The youngest child, a girl, had her own child.  Who, has been in the care of the government for the past year or so.  It is a pattern that can be seen without a lot of examination; grandmother, mother, and daughter.

          When you add the propensity for the family’s addictions and questionable mental health, the entire sense of trauma is greatly compounded.  One starts to see that the youngest in this chain had the deck stacked against her, and her child.

I doubt that it is the punishment of God being visited from one generation to the next. I can see why one might see it as such.  But there is something afoot.  What we do in this life, sets in motion so much else that we will never know. What also is striking is that the events that set in motion this chain of events started fifty four years ago. The woman for whom the meeting was for this morning never knew the person that made the decision that through cause and effect shaped her life.

         

I am left with a greater sense of humility.  The choices that I have made in my life for which I am so proud of seem less like the choices I made.  I am not sure what it was, or who it was that led to my being able to get clean, but I look at my family. Collectively we could create its own twelve step program. It seems that there are greater forces at work.

          I am also left with a mindfulness of what I do. 

          Although it seems to be clearest when the actions set in motion are damaging; that there are repercussions that cut across time and space.  But I also believe that it works it both ways.  That the good you do, or I do, ripples through the years, and distance, to have an impact on a distant life.  Or at least I hope it does.

104 What now?

Romans 13:1 & 2 Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.

Well they won.  It matters not who won the election; they won.  This is being written on the eve of the election, and I can tell you that regardless of who won the election, they won.  Who won? The leaders of the big three parties; each of them won. 

          As a kid I could not stand the Three Stooges.  Watching three men, Larry, Curly, and Moe be violent with each other held neither amusement nor entertainment for me.  And watching, Tommy, Justin, and Steve, held the same appeal.  But they did win.

          Each of them ran a campaign based on the idea of ‘do not vote for the other guy as they are stupid.’  It was hard to hear beyond their rhetoric, as in their haste to tell you how bad the other guy was, they did little in telling you how they were a good choice. And this is where they won.  They encouraged us to act the same way; and we did.

          On social media, and in conversations, we pulled ears, and tweaked noses, and poked eyes.  But I did not see many issues being discussed.  I saw questions like, If Tommy, Justin, or Steve, is the answer, how stupid is the question?  That guy is an idiot, but they have nice hair. 

          In the end as a country, we have voted in the person that we detested the least.  And, if you believe scripture, the will of God has been expressed in the party that was voted into power.

          I know for me, that each of the parties had policies and positions that I supported and rejected.  Each of the leaders had moments of brilliance and absurdity.  And in the end, I voted for the candidate that I thought was the best.  I did make that choice prayerfully, and after a lot of consideration. But I wonder if it was really the candidate that I detested the least that got my vote. 

          Am I alone in this? I think not.  What else could you do but this?  We have had three men behaving badly.  I am aware that Elizabeth May was running in the election, and if she was given the media coverage, or was a serious contender for Prime Minister, she might be included in this post. (In 2004, I did vote Green as I wanted to see them become a political party with federal funding.)

So where do we go from here?  We will wake up this morning with the party that we as a country hated the least as being the party in power.  How do we live with that?  Oh, and if you did not vote, you decided to leave the decision up to the rest of us; why have you left so important a decision to others?.

          Can we get back to being civil with each other?

          Despite which of the three stooges we voted in, we have to live with each other and with our choice.  Can we do that as Christians?  We have to, we are commanded to do so.  

I served as a scrutineer, a representative of a candidate at the polling station tonight.  It was intriguing to stand with the other scrutineers from the other parties - and we were all nice to each other.  It gave me hope.

For me, if the man that I did not want to get into power, is in power, while it may be bitter, I will accept what has been decided.  The graciousness of that acceptance may take a while, but gracious acceptance is what I will strive towards.

          But will I stop there? 

          I hope not.  The candidate for my area who looks like she will get in, I hope will hear from me.  Is it enough to knock on doors, and post signs, and support her during the election?  As a Christian is it enough to simply mark my ballot and wait for the next election?  I don’t think so.

          She will hear from me.  There are policies and positions, from the other parties, that I want her to consider.  I want her to know who I am, and what I stand for as a person of faith. As for my fellow citizens, like you who are reading this, I encourage the same.

          I will also carry my country and its leaders in prayer.  Will you join with me?

102. How do we define success?

Mark 8:36 - What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?

It was reassuring last week when I went to the local pizza place and saw what I think as a typical Canadian disagreement.  The order of pizzas was not what the woman who ordered them was expecting.  In the ensuing conversation, the woman ordering apologized for not being clear enough in her order, and the woman at the counter apologized for not getting the order right.  After a bit of an exchange it was decided that the woman ordering the pizzas would keep the pizzas – even though they were not what she wanted – and the woman at the counter would give her a discount.  It was a win-win situation, but not for why you might think.

          I was pleased to see such an example.  Most of the time, I see errors in services being used as an excuse to act tactlessly and gracelessly.  There is an offense that the person taking the order did not get it right and that it is a personal slight.  As well, the person taking the order insists that the person ordering had made the mistake, and the requisite implication of the person ordering having a lower than normal intelligence.

          This might be a strange example to focus on, but it works for me in its simplicity.  I seem to be inundated with messages of how to be successful in the world.  It seems to me that we have become enamoured with the idea of “no one fucks with me.”  I see it every day.  It is now not only acceptable to be rude to people; it seems to be the preferred way of being.  I see it clearest when I am driving, and probably so do you.  Road rage is contagious and spreading.  It seems acceptable to not only cut someone off but to give them the finger while doing so.  Twice in the past week, I have almost been hit by people running red lights, who seemed somewhat angered that I was in their way.

So I ask you, how do we define success?

I think for a Christian it is an important question.  Not that I think that we should not be successful in materialistic ways, but that we consider really what is more important.  Like the two women at the pizza place, what seemed to be important was not the pizza, but the being decent human beings.

          So, I ask myself, and invite you to do so as well.  What is success in your life?  We are told that in putting the Kingdom of God first, that success will be ours.  But when I read the scripture, Matthew 6:33, it is not the greed that I see so often portrayed, it is the understanding that the pizza was not important, but the being decent was.  There will always be pizza to order, but perhaps not the opportunity to be a decent person.

          Yes, I can have the home that is perfect, and huge, and not yellow.  And I can have the truck and the car and the motorcycle.  As well, I can have the other toys that I seek.  But what does that benefit me if in the process I lose my soul?

          When I first read this scripture, I read into a view of God that if I did not behave that I would be punished, I would lose my soul.  These days, and maybe because it is closer to when I actually get to meet with him, I view the passage less punitively.  It is not that my soul is taken from me, but that in seeking success, in seeking the world, that I give up what is more important.

          For me, as I look at my life, my success lays less in material possessions, but lays in who I am.  My success lays in being a good husband, in being kind, and thoughtful, and supportive.  My success lays in being a good father, similar virtues as a husband.  My success lays in being a good employer, kind, and fair.  My success lays in being a good neighbour, generous with what God has given me, compassionate to those around me, and willing to be the one to work for change.

          In considering success, I think of 1 Corinthians 13; that if I do not have love, I have nothing.  I see the women at the pizza place having both won.  In their exchange not only was the world a better place, they had the joy of that exchange to last the evening.  An even further win, a week later my world is still a better place.

101. Basking in the Love of God

1 John 4:4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. 

It was within the twelve step community that I came to more fully experience the power of God, his grace and love.  It is also where my spirituality matured.  I am not sure how one would separate the spiritual aspect of life; I am one who sees all of life as spiritual.  So within my life I reference those same twelve steps and traditions for guidance. For those of you who are not familiar with the twelve steps it is a guide to living life on a spiritual basis - what I hope we as Christians are up to.  I think it is one of the most profound guides to a life of faith.  It teaches how to live with ourselves, each other, the world outside our door and God.

One of the interesting steps is the twelfth step - Having had a spiritual awakening we sought to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.  The intriguing aspect of this step is that we are told wait to spread the good news - to the carry message until we have more fully experienced the grace and power of God.

          I was listening to an interview of Jim Douglas a man who has lived a life of radical faith. The interview is accessible at this link:

http://www.beyondtheboxpodcast.com/2014/07/jim-douglass-a-life-of-peace-and-resistance/

When asked what he saw as a first step towards living a life of radical faith his answer was this - that we first experience the depth of the grace and love of God.  That this experiencing of God is a basking in his love.  There is no rush to do anything else but relish his love for you.

          I came to faith long before I got clean and sober.  Yet my faith did not result in my salvation from drugs and alcohol.  Regardless of how hard I prayed and pled I remained lost.  While part of this was my not understanding my addiction, the other part lies with being too quick to picking up my cross to follow him. I was not alone in that rush.  No sooner I was saved, then I was told to get busy working out my salvation.

          It was only when I focused on my well-being that I became of use to God.  It was only when I took the time to go through my life and all the warts and wrinkles that I found salvation.  It was only when I truly opened life to God that I became healed that I was able to stand as example.  Yes, I was of service, I set up tables and chairs and made coffee and cleaned up - I was of service, but my primary focus was on being healed.

         

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2

We are called to be in the word.  All it takes a short drive to somewhere, anywhere, and one realizes how ugly, angry and brutal this world can be.  Everywhere it seems there is an invitation to join in this ugliness. 

          But we are called to put ourselves last; to forgive those who have slighted us; to pray for our enemies; and this for me is a tall order.  To do so, on my own, whether it be to the glory of God or not, only serves to be even more frustrating. But in Romans we are called first to the renewing of our minds. 

          I need to daily, sometimes more often, and regularly spend time in prayer.  Though I believe I am constantly in the presence of God, I need to stop what I am doing and be aware of how much God loves me.  It is through doing this, basking in the love of God, that I am renewed of spirit.

          If I am to be the light of the world, then I cannot simply be another angry person.  As Paul said, “What if I speak in the most elegant languages of people or in the exotic languages of the heavenly messengers, but I live without love? Well then, anything I say is like the clanging of brass or a crashing cymbal.”

          Over the next several posts I will discuss how I think we are called to be in the world.  But it all begins with knowing the love of God.

100. Ready to write again

I had lunch with a friend of mine last week, we have started a tradition.  It seems that three years in a row a tradition makes.  We have known each other for almost forty years.  This man, my friend, I have always seen as being older, wiser, and just generally more together.  It is somewhat interesting when I think that the age difference is only a couple of years – but when we met those two years were a significant difference.  First impressions do last.

          After we got caught up on family and career nonsense, we got down to other subjects – including a lot of theology.  Which in turn brought up the blog, which if you have been a follower you know that I have stopped posting.  We talked about the challenge of remaining central to the message of Christ in our work, in our lives and in our writings.

          I know that I am opinionated, and despite my introverted nature, I do not mind sharing those opinions at volume with others.  And there are times when I have written in reaction to some of the opinions that I find objectionable.  When I wrote edgy pieces holding the church – you and me - to task I would get great numbers of readers and great comments.  But slowly I found myself becoming part of the problem.

          As I read scripture I see so much of it addressing our – my – tendency to engage in self-justified condemnation of others.  My desire to prove that I am better-than by tearing down the other.  It is the sin of the religious; righteous indignation.  When Jesus tells people to “go and sin no more;” it is this tendency that I think he is referring.

          Much of what I see as the point of developing righteousness is practicing humility and mindfulness of who we are and our place in the world.  It is the understanding that compassion is of the highest value and utmost importance. 

          So, writing a piece that is angry, or as my friend puts it “Shrill” is actually just joining in the problem.  In short, I am just another angry white man telling you what to believe about God.  And that has been the issue behind my not having posted in so long. 

          So much of what is presented as Christianity is repugnant to me.  It is filled with hostility and judgement and just pisses me off.  I have struggled by seeing such ugliness in others that I wonder if they have experienced the same grace that I have.  Maybe, just maybe, my atheist friends are right; my spirituality is simply a delusion best addressed by good medication and growing up.

          Yet, in my desire to rail against the ugliness of the Christian masses, I realize that all I am doing is being one of them.  St. Paul writes of this in Roman 2:1 “At whatever point you judge another you condemn yourself, for you do the very same things.” And thus, I fell silent.

          And I have waited to write again. 

So I think I am ready.  Ready to write reflectively about receiving God’s grace and love, striving for righteousness, and what I believe that I am called to – to do, to worship and be.  If my first set of writings was, as was put to me by another friend, a purging of my soul.  Maybe what I write now, is what fills my soul anew?

          Maybe now the fight is drained out of me?  Age and exhaustion are often the very things that lead us to salvation.  It once was confessed to me by a man who had struggled with lust and pornography, that it was the loss of his libido that had brought him under obedience to the Lord better than any prayer or striving of the soul.

          Maybe like the first set of writings which was the purge, this new set of writings is the infilling.  It is the act of my writing that I work out my faith.  Thus, you not only get to watch, but you get to participate in my maturation.

          Maybe, I have finally come to understand that the need for hostility and anger never was needed.  In my world, that has so often been depressed, hostility and anger has seemed useful.  When one is beset by everything, being well defended is wise.

          Maybe, it is that finally God has softened a heart made hard through circumstance.  I carry enough scars of the soul that bitterness is justifiable.  But in order to love one’s neighbour one needs to be loved.

There will still be some things that I will be prickly about – telling someone that you will pray for them when you are not willing to help them is about helpful a fart in a wind storm.  Your faith no matter strong it is, does not make you a better person, your actions do.