73. Complicated

Matt 10:32 & 33 “Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.”

It is a simple game a friend of mine involved me in.  For five days state five things in your life that cause you gratitude.  The first day, although a quick knee jerk reaction, was easy.  The second day there was the God predicament.  I am truly grateful for the relationship that I have with Jesus Christ.  As with all my relationships I have made it more complicated than it needs to be.  Listing my relationship with Jesus as something I am grateful for was suddenly challenging.

          “I am grateful for my relationship with Jesus Christ.”  Became the most challenging thing I wrote this week.  My hesitancy was not due to my faith, my love and dedication to Jesus.  My reluctance was what all I could be associated with as I claimed my faith.

          Yes, there were lingering concerns of being ridiculed, but honestly those who would do so, would not matter, as they do not know me.  It was the concern over the association with those with whom I find myself at odds with at times.  As Pastor Dan has pointed out I am the anti-christian Christian.

           

I mean, after all, I do want people to know some of what I have to come to know of God.  Not that Used-Car-Seller-Person-Who-Will-Throw-In-A-Rifle-With-Every-Salvation kind of God.  But the “I give you a new commandment; love each other” kind of God.  The God that loves us, and wants us to love each other, who desires mercy over sacrifice, that journeys with us through our lives.  I want them to know that God, not that I think there are other gods monotheism doesn’t lend well to polytheism, but it is a matter of perception.

          I have heard some truly repugnant things come from the mouths of Christians. Since beginning this blog I have heard even more.  Honestly, I feel like my mission field is the gathering of souls who in seeing the religious have decided they want nothing to do with God. 

But there was another part of that resistance.  I wondered about the example I set.  Will those people who know me, see my declaration and be disappointed that I am not what they think a good Christian should be? 

          God knows how many of my other brethren and sistren pray that I may come to a full maturity of faith and agree with their perspectives on how a life of faith should be lived.  I know that many of my beliefs conflict with those of others, and while I think I am right, I know the best I can hope for is to be not wrong.

So, I posted ‘I am grateful for the relationship with Jesus Christ’ anyway just to see what came of it.  Not much, and if you haven’t paid attention to me then my faith would be a surprise.  If you haven’t been paying attention to me I feel a challenge to make you do so. 

          The reluctance I felt has been a good teacher for me this week.  After all it has made me mindful of what I declare in my Christianity, and if I am presenting Christ in the manner I have been called to do?

I also wonder if Jesus had the same reluctance?  “Hey God, I know he is rather odd, and cantankerous, and his theology is a little troubling, but he is amusing.”