My last post has challenged me. I am a slacker when it comes to
church. Depending on time, energy, and how cute Wanna’s bum seems Sunday
morning, I might not make it. I have seemed to work out an arrangement with my
pastor - I see him as being the thermometer of the church. My goal is to miss often enough that church is not painful, but not so often that people don’t mistake me for a stranger. So far so good.
I do have
legitimate reasons for not attending, but I bat about 50-50 as to whether I am
playing hooky. And while church membership is more than attending Sunday
morning service - that is the key time. That is the time we come together as a
group - the body of Christ – and declare that these are the people I stand with
in Christ. So I am a slacker, and thus the challenge.
If my friend that I wrote about last post allows me to attend,
then do I allow others to attend? Does my presence allow another to participate
in the congregation? Does my going to church have more to do with others
than myself? Even as I write these questions, I know that answer.
I have tried being
Mr. Gregarious at church, which roughly translates into grunting at others
while I get my coffee and cookies. So I don’t do that well. I would
be a great greeter but after we shake hands I would want you to go sit down and
bother someone else. It is not that I am anti-social but, after we say hi, what
else is there to say, or ask?
Does my being
there, messy hair and all, let some one else know that they are welcome there
as well? The answer doesn’t matter. The question does, the challenge to me, and I
guess to you as well.
I am tempted to
live my faith out in my office writing, study and drinking way too much
coffee. And as much as I disagree with
the idea of personal salvation, I would prefer it. That my faith and my walk is mine and yours
is yours. But as much as I want to
believe that my faith is about my relationship with Christ, it is also about
you.
Scripture reminds
me that although he comes into my life, it is through my interactions with
others where that relationship, or my salvation, is worked out. Wherever two or more are gathered in my name,
there I will be, so obviously there are people needed. The question comes back to the same question
that I have confronted many times – is my faith, and my participation in the
body of Christ have more to do with others than with me?
Maybe in my
faltering, and somewhat awkward relationship with my faith – I am not the
staunch pillar of confidence that I wish I was – I allow others to know that
they have a place in my church too.
But there is the catch. How much do I want you to know about
me? How much do I want to share with Mr.
The Chairs Are Crooked? How transparent
am I willing to be? That for me is the
challenge. The issue is how much do I trust you to not ridicule me for that which
I still struggle?
There is safety in
keeping my relationship with Christ between he and I; it is less embarrassing
and there is no need to explain myself.
I realize that as I show up at church unshaven, hair dishevelled, and
maybe fly undone that it does not take a detective to realize that maybe I less
than together. But do I really want you
to know how not-together I am at times?
In the meantime,
there are those in my church, and in my personal life that know. Those that I am open with about the struggles
and doubts and fears that still wander my life.
But if you do want to know, join me some morning in making sure that the
chairs are not straight.
To my credit, or maybe my fortune, I managed to connect with one
of those that I feel an affinity with at church. He and I greet each other every Sunday – at
least the ones when we are both there, but we never get past the
pleasantries. The same day I chatted with
my overthinking buddy, this man and I managed to chat. Though we differ in our
relationship with God we have a commonality.
The difference, by the way, speaks to me about the legitimacy of each of
our relationship with Christ. If we were the same, I would be suspicious. It is the individual nature of our
relationship with God where the differences are formed.
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