37. Called to Reconcile

There is neither Jew no Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus - Galatians 3:28

This has been a humbling week - one in which if I was so inclined I could see the hand of God in international affairs teaching me - I am not so inclined.  The lesson has been how insidious racism has been in my own life - particularly in regards to white-male privilege.  It has been one of those weeks when my belief that my call as a Christian is really to be a better human being has been affirmed.

And please indulge my self-obsessed writing this week, but if I am to share this lesson I can only do so from the perspective from behind my eyeballs.  I share it to give you, the reader, an opportunity to consider its implications for yourself.

The set up for this lesson has been the woman I have written about two weeks ago.  The situation continues, and I had a huge flash of gratitude this week.  That gratitude comes from an insight she has afforded me.  It struck me that her dislike of me has nothing to do with me.  She does not care that what she is up to impacts my wife and my kid - it does not matter.  It does not matter that I have a wealth of experience - she does not care.  She sees simply what she wants to see.  Thus the source of my insight and gratitude - I have experienced prejudice.

In no way do I want to equate what I am experiencing to the experiences of those judged before they are even met.  However, I am dismissed for reasons that she cannot state - others have asked her and her answer changes each time.  She has been dishonest in her dealings with me, and has engaged in campaigning against me behind the scenes.  And not for the first time in my life, but more sharply with this experience, the privilege that I have enjoyed as a White Man has been denied me.

To meet me, one would state that I am not a racist.  My wife is Thai, and when you meet her you would understand my attraction to her is that she is my equal.  Our son is biracial – of European and African descent.  One of my closest friends, like a sister, is Fijian.  I worship in a predominately Chinese congregation.  All of this has just developed in my life, there has been no intent to create such diversity.

Yet.  I am more than just White - I am Anglo-Saxon Protestant.  It is my heritage that the world was and still is viewed as being created for my exploitation.  It is what drove European Imperialism. It is what made my people look at this land and decide it was ours for the taking.  It is what drove the horror of the Residential Schools.   Little do we realize that we were considered unclean and stinky people as we arrived in other countries because we had hygiene habits that were ridiculously lacking.

The next part of this week’s lesson has been a controversy within the North American Church.  The details are not important - the dialogue that erupted after is important.  A prominent pastor in the course of organizing a church plant in Hong Kong made a huge cultural gaff.  What was alarming was his original response which was, “Get a grip, I was only joking.”  I saw this as being indicative of an ongoing systemic racism that is larger than just the church.  In the injury and the resulting outcry and ongoing dialogue exists an opportunity for healing and reconciliation.  I do not know the church’s intent or motivation, or the mechanics of this church plant.  Personally, I object to an American church planting a church in Hong Kong.  It smacks too much of White Imperialism - the shadows are too thick.  But perhaps, this church plant might be just the thing to shake those shadows loose.

Further I am a man.  As a White Man I was born with an expectation that the entire world exists for my benefit.  It is that expectation that drives consumerism. It justifies the depletion of the world's resources and global warming and the other toxifications we do to this world.  It is that expectation that justifies the exploitation of my fellow humans, women, children and men.  It is not that White Men are the only ones with this expectation, but I think we have perfected this perspective of the world.

As a final installment of this lesson I arrive at church this week to find my Chinese Pastor talking to our predominately Chinese congregation about racial and cultural reconciliation.  I am not sure whether the irony was evident to all.  This was the ethnic group my country got to build our railway as it was too dangerous a job for us white folk.  And there was Pastor Dan  encouraging the congregation to become ambassadors of God reconciling race, ethnicity and culture.

One step further in this insight for me is that I am an addict.  I can take whatever offers solace, comfort and excitement and over indulge ad nauseum until it becomes a destructive force for those around me and myself.  In light of my understanding of my ethnic heritage it is hard for me to separate my addiction from the legacy handed me.  Thus, my insight this week has lead to some rather severe and pointed introspection.

This week has been a challenge to me.  I have no idea if it is the Holy Spirit challenging me through my conscience, or if it is part of my growth in the Lord, but everything has come under question.  Is my annoyance of people getting in my way a side effect of my being too rushed for my own good, or is it my belief that the world should accommodate me?  Is my struggle with lust an inherent character flaw or a remnant of the belief women were made for my benefit?  Is my resentment with this woman a reaction to injustice or the belief that I should not be frustrated with my desires?  There are other questions that have confronted me.

I did not choose to be a White Man.  I am not overly conscious of this as I wake up and go through my day.  Nor am I overtly racist.  But I have found myself wondering how much of my struggle lies in the beliefs that were handed on to me, and that I perpetuate myself?  I know I do better with White Privilege than others.  But it occurs to me that as I wait for my current dilemma, of being unjustly judged, to pass that I am simply waiting for things to return to as they always have been.  My sisters and brothers of colour and different ethnicity have no such expectation.  That has been a harrowing thought, that what has been is just the same tired dismissal of one’s humanity based on race, ethnicity, culture or gender. 

I offer this to you, not as a confession, but as a request for you to see in my struggle to become a decent human being something of yourself.  My Pastor today urged us to listen to the experiences of others, and we should.  I also think for myself I need to examine how I am part of the problem.

I would ask for continued prayers for this woman and for myself.

36. Called to be Missional

Matt. 25: 40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

We are called to live in compassion: to clothe and feed the poor, tend to the sick, and visit those in prison.  We are also called to go make disciples of all nations.  We are called to live as a missionary. 

I think there is great service in creating the mission field.  Although I believe that I have not been called to go and teach the gospel to the unsquashed hamsters of Nepal, I see value in going to other countries and being of service.  Not so big on preaching at them, but joining with them in their lives and struggles? I am all over that one.

I also believe, more whole heartedly, in the mission fields closer to home.  For us -the Downtown Eastside. My church is very missional in the community in which we meet.  There are pockets of need locally from the shores of Vancouver to the streets of Hope.  And I truly believe that we should see those as being mission fields.

It is interesting that Christ did not say, “I was hungry and you preached to me, I was thirsty and you told me to change my evil ways, I was in prison and you told me that I was an abomination before the Lord.”  Jesus would be the kind of guy I would want if I needed help, some of my fellow Christians...mmm...not so much.

My concept of being a missionary is not dropping in uninvited to convert the unwashed masses to Christianity.  Christ didn’t do that.  Christ loved people, talking with them, told jokes and it is my personal belief that some of them would have been a bit off colour.  And people responded to that love.  We are called to do that same.

Christ taught us that in doing so, that we were doing it to him.  I would like us to realize that one of the Old Testament references to Christ was that he was despised.  Thus, the mentally ill woman who resides in the alleyway, or the unwashed man who asks for a quarter, or whoever else we find worthless is actually Christ-like. 

I see another mission field, one that I see every Sunday.  A friend of mine that had served time in prison – a number of them – talked about how they all smell the same.  They all smell like fear.  He talked about prison not being the place behind bars, but being the place where you cannot do what you want to do.  He found freedom in prison, and had experienced confinement while outside of those bars.

Romans 7:19  For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

I cannot think of a worse place to be, for I have been there, and still am.  I know what I can be, I know the potential that lives within me.  And I know the good I want to do I do not do.  The evil that I do not want to do I keep on doing.  The mission field that I see is the church, and those called to be the body of Christ. 

When I get past the glib repetition of this verse, and let the truth sink in, it is like I have Tourette’s of the soul.  I live with the knowledge and regret that I am not what I could be.  I also know that you live with that truth also.

So this Sunday, and I hate being social on Sunday.  There are some people that I like and I say hi to, but others, well, I just don’t know what to say.  There are others that I avoid – “excuse me I have to go pee” – others I smile like an idiot and say, “boy these are good donuts today”.  But back to Sunday.  This Sunday, my mission field will be my church.  I will ask people how they are?  What is happening in their life? 

I know I hold a strange idea of what it is like to be a Christian.  Having been made a new creature in the Lord, granted super powers – nothing bothers me anymore for I have the Peace that passes all understanding.  Lately, that image has become a bit frayed at the edges. 

I still have a person that the thoughts of doing great bodily harm to has some appeal.  I wonder about praying to a God that has a different – better – perspective on matters and has a different design for my life.  You know, “Please Dear Lord, I still have not finished playing with these toys and I still like it, and don’t really believe that the next ones are better so leave me alone.”

But I do know it is hard to remain faithful, so this week, I will seek to be of service to the person that stands next to me.  Together we can offer each other solace and comfort that the path can be narrow and tricky to walk. But for a moment we can share the comfort of companionship.

John 13: 12 - 17 When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

35. Called to Pray

Recently I have been dealing with a woman who is, well, um, the poster child for eternal conscious torment.  I have hated bullies for as long as I can remember.  And this woman is a bully.  This woman works in one of the offices of the branch of Government that I do business with.

          She has taken a dislike for me, and the people who work with me.  No one, including those people who quite appreciate the work we do, understands why she does not like us.  If it stopped there I would be fine.  But we care for those who are vulnerable, and this woman uses them in her plotting against us.  And it is for that reason that I have rethought my belief of eternal punishment.

          Pick on me, and really I do not give a – yes this is a Christian blog. But pick on others, use others who are vulnerable, and well, I am of the opinion that your punishment should be long and torturous. 

          My God has a rather nasty reputation, afterall Hurricane Katrina was blamed on him.  As well as Tropical Storm Sandy.  The Japanese earthquake and resulting tsunami was also attributed to him.  Now these supposedly were punishments for people being amoral.  So when it came time to pray for this woman I was rather hopeful.  One well placed lightening bolt.  Or, tree knocked over by a gust of wind.  Or, a rabid rabbit that managed to get into her home.  Something nasty could be done.

Matt 5:43 & 44 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

          It is with some disappointment that this verse came to mind.  I really would like God to cause calamity to befall her.  I would really like to see a serving of the wrath of God with a side of fire and brimstone delivered to her.  But, I am asked to love her, and pray for her.

          Jesus and I, or maybe it is just I, are working out the details of this.  I will pray but I do not promise about not vomiting.  Sometimes I do better than others.  This week has not been a good week.  The decisions that she is making in regards to a young man we care for will leave him vulnerable to exploitation by others, and open to serious if not life altering consequences. 

          In times previous I have prayed for her.  Albeit in a back handed show of compassion.  I would certainly not want to be her.  I have thanked God that I landed in the body that I am in.  To be that petty, that unethical, must – I hope – lead to a miserable existence.  But alas I am the one who is miserable.

Philp 4:4 - 7 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

          It is one of those times when I am frustratingly human.  I know that to forgive her, even as she is committing this act, and to pray for her, offers me release.  Yet, I just cannot bring myself to do that. But I am told how to pray – numerous times – but I like this verse.

          For on the same day that I found out that this woman planned to deny service to one of our guys, we managed to get one who had been homeless settled in one of our homes.  There are also those who we care for who live lives that are much less traumatic. For many of them we are the only agency willing to take them on.

          I also am privileged to lead a group of men and women who are dedicated, compassionate and loving.  Women and men who have experienced grace in the recovery from their own drug addictions, imprisonment, and homelessness and express their gratitude by giving back.

          I am grateful and rejoice that these people are celebrated by other workers in other offices.  When I write that we take on the clients most other agencies won’t touch I am not engaging in hyperbole or exaggeration.  These other people like us, want us to succeed, and work with us to develop further business.

          So tonight I will pray for the young man that this woman wants to set out on his own.  I will pray that he will be kept safe.  I will thank God for all that I am grateful for.  I am not sure that I will pray for this woman. 

          I would ask you to pray for me – that I find peace with this situation, that I mature in my walk.  I would ask you pray for her as well,

Philip 1:3 - 6 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.   

34. Are you born again?

John 3:3 – 8 Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God.”

“What do you mean?” exclaimed Nicodemus. “How can an old man go back into his mother’s womb and be born again?”

 Jesus replied, “I assure you, no one can enter the Kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit. Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life. So don’t be surprised when I say, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.”

I was asked about my blog this week.  It is not an unusual occurrence.  Friends and acquaintances have been reading and asking questions.  Am I planning a revolt from within?  Why do I use some many scripture references?  Do I mean to sound so Christian in my writing?

This week the question was, “Are you born again?”

Romans 6:4 We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

I stumbled.  The question of course, or maybe it is just me, is a reference to the Evangelical Christian Right, equally known as Fundamentalists.  I didn’t know how to answer.  The question was also “Are you one of those Whack Jobs?”  The answer is an unequivocal yes, but we need to define Whack Job.

Buying some time I asked her what she meant by Born Again.  It was not just a dodge; the term has some misconceptions to it so getting clarification is always a good idea.  I assured her that I was not going to get her to stop so I could baptize her in the ditch.  Her question was what I would have expected, am I one of those born again Christians, who will push religion on her?

Romans 10:9-10 Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

I also surmise that behind that question is a sense of guilt and shame.  It is unpopular to believe that we as a collective whole and individually have messed up.  With the belief that we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, comes a shadow of us Christians judging and condemning others.  Most of which was done to create a diversion from our own particular form of depravity.

But when we take a stand for righteousness, no matter how unimposing, we take a stand that all of us are in error.  In this culture, with our permission to satisfy any and every appetite, desire and lust, such a message is truly unwelcome. 

I answered the question as best I could, giving my Christian history, and my own struggles, and the fact that I am still rather eccentric to say the least.  That given my penchant for making life more complicated than I need to, and refuse to colour inside the lines, that I could use as much help as I could.  That I think the Grace of God should suffice. 

But her question got me to thinking.  Am I born again?  I don’t feel it.  After all I did become a new creation in Christ, but I had the same struggles as always.  My addiction and my depression, both of which are unwanted, have remained with me in one form of another for my entire life.  There are times when I am truly inspired and emotionally uplifted in the presence of God.  But my day to day life, while not a drudgery, seems less than uplifted.

I know the multilevel marketing pitch of Christianity.  The push to create as many people as possible in your down-line.  It is the consumer approach to spirituality.  I come to Christ and I am made shiny and new, my teeth become whiter, I lose fat, I gain few inches in height, those who pay me for my services pay me more than before I converted.  That has not been my experience of being born again.

Philippians 3:7 – 9 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.

It seems to me that faith is something more profound than finding the Creator of the Universe and being given all that I ask.  I believe that my birth of spirit, that awakening of that part of me that was dead, has led me to more deeply understand the world around me; to more fully experience compassion in my life.  I am called to live in right relationship with God.

For myself my faith is more of an inner journey.  I do talk with others about what I believe, and about my faith in Christ.  When I talk to those people who will listen I talk as one questing soul to another.  I hope that I am able to help them find the way for it is narrow, just as they help me find the way.  More often than not I find the soul that is struggling to find its way is another sibling in Christ.

So yes I am Born Again.

33. The Stupidity of Christ

Hebrews 2:17 & 18 For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

My friend David comes over often.  Occasionally, he comes over to discuss, argue, and belittle Christianity.  Not Christ, although he does question his divinity. He is one of my agnostic friends who I believe makes me a better Christian.  He is one of those agnostic and atheistic types that I feel comfortable with being around.  Even though he thinks that my faith is somewhat self-deluded he supports me in my walk.

          David reminds me how much in common we, us Christians, share with the rest of the world – even those who are vehemently opposed to our beliefs.  We all want to know that we are loved, that our lives have some meaning, to be involved in the lives of others and to enjoy the time we have on this mud ball.  And we both agree that the world needs a good Atheistic writer like Christopher Hitchens, the current popular one is just not the same.

          He came over the other day.  As usual we got to discussing religion.  Other times we talk about the Canucks, our mutual friends, movies, and stupid but fun adventures we have shared. This day, this visit, he wondered about a mutual friend of ours who has found enlightenment.

          This friend dispenses his wisdom to others freely – without cost and without restraint.  This mutual friend has defined my Christianity for me – without understanding what I believe.  He is proof that judgmentalism knows no specific religion or belief.  When David questioned me about my thoughts on the superiority of one person over another I replied, “All have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.”

          This opened a wide ranging discussion regarding the Bible, God, Jesus, us, creation, and numerous jokes.  Imagine Joseph and Mary being introduced by the neighbours.  “I’d like you to meet Mr. and Mrs. Christ, their son Jesus is really gonna make a name for himself.”

          And in the process of being challenged about my faith, I was reminded of what is important:

·                                       -  The essential message that we cannot be good enough to earn God’s Grace

·                                    -     and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus

·                                    -    My faith is a response of gratitude that Grace is freely given

·                                   -     My faith is an expression of compassion to others

·                                    -   That I still suck at that response and expression

          Then he asked the question of the night.  The context of the question of the night is our understanding, or belief, that we are insignificant.  He looks at me and asks, “So you really believe that God would come down here in human form?”

          “Yes.”  I answered.

          “That is stupid.”  David replied.

          “The belief or the coming down here?”  I asked.

          “Both.”

          “Yes, they are.”

          Compassion and love, even God’s, trumps intelligence every day. 

Matt 7:13 & 14 Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Christ and his life and gift of grace on the Cross makes no sense.  It goes against the grain of what seems to us logical – that somehow we toil and strive to gain God’s forgiveness and grace.  It is hard to believe, even for those of us who have experienced it.

          We are given this gift freely, not so that we can go on sinning, though they idea of actually stopping is somewhat odd, but so that we can get down to the business of what God wants for us.  What wants for us?  To love and care for each other.

32. Demand Naught of Sacrifice

Genesis 20:2 Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.”

So, God says “Hey, Abe, time to off the kid.” 

          Abraham says, “Okay.”

          There is no, “Hey what did he do now?”

          No, “Sorry God, I ain’t gonna do that.”

          Simply, “Alright God, the kid gets it.”

          To me, the story of Abraham sacrificing Isaac is intensely disturbing.  What is chilling is the matter-of-factness shown by Abe.  I have read more than one commentary that suggests that the lack of emotion recorded in the story is an indication that Abe was so distraught that the authors did not think it necessary to comment.  Bullshit.

          It was business as usual, nothing out of the ordinary.  Human sacrifice has occurred within all religious traditions, save those of the people indigenous to North America – specifically north of the Rio Grande.  As well Buddhism and Jainism hold an ethic of “Thou shall not kill” which extends to even animals; they too have not sacrificed humans.

          Well known within the history of Israel is the worship of Moloch.  At one time the Jewish people worshipped him and this was done by setting children on fire.  When Jesus tells us that it is better to go through life with one eye than enter the fires of Gehenna it is a reference to the valley where children were sacrificed to Moloch. So, when Abraham is told to go kill the kid, Abe says of course.

          Of interest Isaac catches on, and says “Hey Dad, we are going to make a burnt offering to God, where is it?”

          And so they arrived at the appropriate destination, and they get ready.  As Abraham goes to kill his son Isaac, he is stopped by an angel of God.  The Angel says hey, God has watched you and knows that you are obedient to him.  Take that Ram over there and kill it instead.  The story, I believe, shows God rewarding Abraham for the limitation of his sacrifice. 

          There are those that content that Abraham knew all along that it was a test by God, and that in the end God would come through.  I don’t think so.  I think Abraham intended to come back with one less kid.

          We portray God as demanding sacrifice, as this violent angry vengeful God.  Consider –

Micah 6:7 & 8 - Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousand rivers of olive oil? Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

or

Pslam 51:16 & 17 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.

In an earlier post I wrote this “The words forgive along with forgiving and forgiveness is mentioned about 240 times in the bible.  Punishment is mentioned about 30 times.  Revenge is mentioned about 80 times.  Mercy in mentioned about 590 times.  Hate occurs 220 times, while love is mentioned about 800 times.”

So I ask you, where is this God demanding of vengeance and sacrifice? 

I do not want to dilute the message of the bible too much by overstating that much of it is written from the perspective of those witnessing the events.  There is an inherent danger in doing that as those parts of the bible that I do not agree with can be simply chalked up to perspective, context and culture.  But the times that I have seen reference to God being a violent nasty ass god, makes me wonder.  Is this the result of the author's perspective, or is that an accurate reflection of events?

So why does the myth of the God demanding sacrifice persist?  Because we are violent.  We created sacrifice.  It is our attempt to satisfy our guilt and shame by inflicting punishment on to another.  I see God's participation in the entire act of sacrifice as being one of tolerance and limitation to nonhuman offerings. 

Jeremiah 7: 22 & 23 For when I brought your ancestors out of Egypt and spoke to them, I did not just give them commands about burnt offerings and sacrifices, but I gave them this command: Obey me, and I will be your God and you will be my people. Walk in obedience to all I command you, that it may go well with you.

For me, it is not just a minor point.  If we worship a God of loving compassion, a God who loves us so much that he sent his only begotten son so that whoever believes in him shall have everlasting life.  Would not such an experience lead us to be compassionate, caring and gentle with each other?  Would not a God who is slow to anger, keeps no record of wrongs, and God who celebrates the return of one of his children inspire a faith similar to his heart?

"But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which He loved us even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ" (Eph 2:4-5).

But we e are called to sacrifice though -

Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

31. Laying Waste to the Earth, Satan’s Trickery, and Night of the Living Dead

Or in other words – Road Trip

A few weeks ago deciding I had had enough I left on a road trip with my kid.  The weeks leading up to that time had been chaotic and aggravating and I had had enough.  And nothing, for this Prairie-raised Canadian Boy, is as soothing to the soul as a road trip.  So, after work one day, I loaded up the car with the kid and some crap and left.

          The plan was simple, Edmonton first to have pizza with the group of Drunken Charismatic Lutherans, then Calgary to see family, then a stop in Drumheller and then back to the coast – some 2,500 kilometres.

          I know in this day of global warming that such blatant overuse of fossil fuels is inexcusable.  I would hang my head in shame, but really, I needed the trip, and needed to let my mind slip into neutral.  I would promise to walk to the store more often to balance my carbon footprint, but I am still fatalistic and believe that we are hurtling to our own demise.  So, in the day of accounting I am willing to stand and admit that I helped with the laying waste to the earth.

          The kid is easy to travel with, he generally sleeps, which has annoyed me to no end as he has missed the mountains in the Rockies twice before.  But, as he sleeps I am alone with my thoughts, and able to pray and enjoy the moment.

          The first night he is usually awake.  Our last road trip he played DJ surfing Youtube for songs that we played over the car’s stereo.  A distant cry from the days of the eight track tape stuck in the player with a folded up cigarette pack to keep it in place.  Technology has brought us light years; we no longer have to smoke in order to get our tunes to play.

          This trip he listened to his phone over his earphones, as I drove.  At one point I turned and looked at him.  His eyes were wide open as he stared out at the night road.  The dashboard lights gave his skin a creepy hue, and then he turned and looked at me.  It looked the set of George Romero movie as the kid had a slightly living dead look to him.

          Edmonton, was well, Edmontonish.  Pizza with the few friends that showed up was good.  A reminder that life, at least for me, has rarely seemed straight forward.  We parted company with hugs and plans for a thanksgiving of sorts in the fall.

          We left Edmonton the next morning without having eaten.  And something about Tim Horton’s just appealed to me.  We drove, actually I drove, the kid napped, until just north of Red Deer when I saw a highway sign for Timmie’s.  I turned and followed the sign, and before I knew it, it was like being on the set of a poorly done “B” horror. 

          You know the ones where the hungry human eating Albertans put up the Tim Horton’s sign, and then a few turn here signs until the person is hopelessly lost.  We did make it to Red Deer, and a Tim Horton’s, but I have no idea just how we made it there, and I am afraid to look under the car even now for fear of finding a local mutant just waiting.

          Calgary was good.  Family, always crazy were more fun than usual.  A cousin of mine has had an instant family, her husband and three boys through marriage.  She, remarkably, looked decided relaxed, maybe exhaustion becomes her.  And, I found my favourite pizza – smoked oysters, anchovies, banana peppers and onions.  Sounds disgusting, BUT, it is so good.

          In Calgary we found the urban version of the horror movie from earlier in the day.  Hungry Calgarians played havoc with their road signs in order to trap hapless tourists.  I got onto Moose Butt Trail, and went north, and then turned off for the road to Happy Valley.  We got turned around so I went back to Moose Butt Trail to find that it had changed from running North to South to running East to West.  Hmmm. 

          Fortunately, there was a lightning storm, so the kid and I were kept entertained as we tried to get our way through the city.  At one point 14^th Avenue North West turned into 84^th Avenue North East, and then stopped at a T-intersection.  In an act of desperation I noticed the planes flying to the airport, the kid and I followed them, and found our way to my cousin’s house.  Any rumours about a red Kia Soul with BC license plates driving over a golf course have yet to substantiated.

          The next day I went into that den of iniquity called Drumheller.  To me it is amazing, and embarrassing that there are those Christians that believe that Satan has created dinosaurs to limit our belief in God.  For me, it is just more testament to how great God is that there was a time that the earth was inhabited by creatures from my childhood sandbox – hold it – or is that the other way around?  Unfortunately, I was not able to find fossilized dinosaur pooh.  Truly it was saddening.

          The trip back was a miracle.  We left Drumheller at close to one in the afternoon, and stopped at a shopping centre in Calgary before finishing the drive to Vancouver.  We got into Vancouver – Delta – at eleven at night.  I have no idea really how long it should have taken us, after all it is 1,100 kilometres from there to here.  They say it should be about eleven and half hours, that is without purse shopping.  But we made it here very quickly considering that I did not drive like I was evading high speed pursuit.

          Seventy Two hours of mayhem, pizza and prayer and meditation.  What do I have to show for it?

          I wondered about the flight to Egypt by Jesus and the family, and did he continually ask, “Are we there yet?”  And did they have donkey stations, where you could tend to the donkey, grab a coke and go to the washroom? 

          Mostly, what I got, is how small I really am.  As I stood before remains of creatures that lived 65,000,000 years before me, I was reminded that I am insignificant.  Whatever I may fret about will be forgotten as I die, and probably not even thought of again.  As I drove past a mountain 1,500 times taller than I, I remembered just how small I really am.  And two thousand kilometres was enough distance to put this all into perspective.  Oh and the kid, he actually stayed awake long enough to see Mt. Robson, and then Fortress Mountain.