99. A Sin Unlike the Others

1 Cor 6:9 - 10 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

In the wake of the Supreme Court of the United States’ ruling that discrimination based upon morality is illegal there has been an article circulating the internet.  Finally, I seem drawn out of my lethargy and feel compelled to write.  The article states that homosexuality is not like the other sins.

Personally, I believe that what Paul was addressing was not homosexuality as we know it.  However, I do support those who believe that he was referring to homosexuality as we are seeing it today.  I am not getting into the entire nonsense of separating the acts from the people. I have listened to a sermon that stated that if straight men engaged in sex with each other that it would still be sinful.  If two straight men engaged in sex with each other chances are that they are not straight.  My point is that what you believe about homosexuality is an aspect of your faith, and what you decide is between you and God. 

But I do agree that homosexuality, if it is to be considered a sin, is a sin unlike the others.  Homosexuality, unlike sexual immorality, idolatry, adultery, theft, greed, drunkenness, reviling, or swindling, has been used for systemic prejudice, condoning of violence, and engaging in discrimination.  Our society has celebrated and encouraged the other sins, while engaging in active prejudice against the LGBTQ community.  Within our church walls we have singled it out for our attention.

The other sins are not only celebrated but encouraged within a culture that emphasises personal gain above all else.  People, mostly women, are reduced to being commercial goods that are to be sought after in much the same way as the cool cars, big houses, and the latest gadgets.  Intoxication has been celebrated, in my life time, back to Cheech and Chong records.  Theft and swindling are considered nothing more than shrewd business practices.

As a society, we have taught that adultery is an acceptable and expected part of the life of a marriage.  Forty percent of first time marriages end in divorce, I would imagine that most end having had adultery as being part of the process.  But can you imagine if two people who have remarried were approached on the street and beaten violently for being adulterous? 

When I think of the LGBTQ community, I think of the Stonewall Inn.  An establishment that served LGBTQ people was raided for no other reason than for who they were.  It was the start of the Gay Pride movement.  I think of other acts of systemic prejudice and the examples that come to mind are based on race and ethnicity. 

But that is the larger secular community – many of you voice objections to the immorality of our world.  But collectively, we have sought out special treatment for homosexuality.  Is this push back from the ‘Gay Agenda’?  I would hope not, the Gay Agenda, despite those people intent on creating fear, is the same as my agenda or your agenda; live happy lives, help others and be good people.

Yet, we treat other sins differently.

We teach that greed is not only not a sin, but it is an admirable quality and that we should celebrate it.  Or have I missed the entire purpose of the prosperity gospel?  And as I am fond to say, “I would rather explain to God why I loved another man, than sought to become excessively rich while others languished in poverty.”

Adultery is well tolerated within the walls of our churches; or have I misread Jesus teaching on adultery, divorce and remarriage.  Yet, in the same sermon in which I was told that straight men could not engage in sex with each other, I was told that remarriage was acceptable.  The man preaching had talked about his use of scripture to support remarriage, even in the case where the divorce was not based on sexual immorality or adultery.

I found it quite interesting, if not somewhat disturbing, that one of the churches that I attended there were women reading the Fifty Shades of Grey series and talking about it.  This same church is quite vocal in its opposition to the acceptance of the LGBTQ people.  This same church held pub nights – I guess the entire reference to drunkenness is misunderstood by me.

I could go on.  We seem to make room and accept these other sins.   I don’t trust our agenda in vilifying LGBQT people.  As of a few days ago it became legal to marry the person that you love and are committed to regardless of the gender mix of that relationship.  I celebrate that decision.  Oh, and just in case you are curious, if your church decides that it does not support same gender marriages, I will also support you in that expression of faith.

98. So, I took a break from blogging.

So, I took a break from blogging.

It is not that I had nothing to say, a rarity in my life.  In fact, I have a number of pieces just needing editing before I publish. 

I hit a point in my faith that made inaction a reasonable, um, course of action.  To be honest, I wondered if I wanted anything to do with Christianity.  I love Jesus, but collectively we are a bunch of idiots.  At the same time, I felt the ever present Christ wanting to claim more of my life. – Those of you who think that surrendering your life to Christ is as simple as muttering a prayer after listening to a compelling sermon are in for a surprise.  And coincidentally, there was wondering if I wanted anything to do with God at all.

My questioning of God began one night as I was getting ready for bed.  For whatever reason my mind offered up the idea that Wanna could spend eternity in hell.  I am not that put off by the idea that I might be eternally damned, but the idea of Wanna being subjected to torment for simply making the wrong decision is distressing.

I know that I can be violent, and vengeful.  I do not think that I could be as violent as either creating or tolerating hell.  I do know that I am not callous enough to worship a God who would be content with the suffering of his creation for all eternity.

Sunday mornings became more challenging – do I lay in bed cuddling Wanna with hopes of getting lucky or do I go to a place with some people that I like and others that I find kind of questionable?  Do I spend that time spinning the wheels on my bicycle, or spend another ninety minutes sitting?  After all, Pastor Dan uploads his sermons to the internet – I could catch what he says at a later date.

Added to this was seeing my fellow Christians selectively using the bible to justify being assholes.  The entire aspect of the graceless condemnation of others, and the lack of humility as we insist others live up to an invented moral code began to disgust me.

All in all, the walk of faith became the trudge of belief.  Thus, my belief that it was the hand of God that had led me to this point.  The challenge was not whether to believe – I am not sure how much of that is by choice.  For me it is like saying I have stopped believing I have a brother, or a wife, or a kid, or that there are M&M peanuts.  It is really a question of participation.

It became difficult to write and to publish.  I do not know if I have the where-with-all to expound upon something that I have great misgivings about.  I had walked into a period of spiritual questing – where I had more questions than answers.  I have a sneaking suspicion that Christ, God, the Holy Spirit either separately or together colluded for this to happen.  Which is one of the reasons why I do love God.

I grew up in a family that was moderately fucked up.  Dysfunctional is a concept that I am not sure about.  How to family got by was to not talk about the violence in the family, not to confront it.  When what we did as a family was discussed it was met with hostility and violence in an effort to end the discussion.  What I have been left with is conversations with my brother, decades later, of what happened.  That wasn’t love, that was survival.

It has been my experience that a life of faith does not lead to silence, uncomfortable or otherwise.  It does not skirt issues – it meets them head on, gently, lovingly, and patiently.

My faith is not simply a one way path where I honour, love and obey God, while he sits there taking it all in.  I don’t think God seeks simple compliance.  It is a matter of working out my salvation. 

While I am back to writing, I am still in a place of questioning. 

The other day I made comment to my pastor that I wanted the simplified version of faith.  You the one, where there is exceeding confidence that you are right and everyone else is wrong, and that you are the good son, or daughter, loving and obedient.  And as much as that comment was made tongue-in-cheek I do want that simplicity.  But Pastor Dan made comment that we are not called to such. 

97. The lesson that could have been learned from Fifty Shades

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Eph 5:21

About three years ago there began an infatuation with a trilogy called “Fifty Shades.”  If you have not heard of it, then you have either been dead, or incarcerated in a foreign country.

I picked up a copy of the first novel, the Fifty Shades of Grey, and was so unimpressed I could not finish reading it.  It is bad writing, a bad story line, and not that imaginative.  Not surprisingly, it also does not reflect the practices of BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism) in a very realistic way; this is our loss.

I believe that I have been noted for being outspoken about rape in its many guises and the need for consent.  And it is this aspect of consent that I find most intriguing about BDSM.  Within the vernacular of BDSM, there are Tops or Doms (the dominant one) and Bottoms or Subs (the submissive one).  And despite what one might assume about the sexual practices of those involved in BDSM, things are not quite as they appear.

It is the Bottom or the Submissive that actually holds the power within the relationship.  If done properly there is a detailed discussion about what will be done during a session.  And by detailed, I mean there is very little that is not discussed.  And prior to any play, the submissive one has to agree to whatever practice is done. 

Yes, there are aspects of what are expected of the Submissive, but it is the responsibility of the Dominant to ensure that everything that occurs is agreed to by the Sub.  Do not mistake that this is an effort to coerce compliance, this is an effort to submit to the sentiments of the Sub. If there is an act that the Submissive does not agree to, it is not done.

Whatever else you may think of the people who engage in BDSM, they actually provide an example of we could aspire to within our relationships.

If done properly, or so I am told, there is not only a “Safe” Word. A word that when said stops everything.  But the active person, the Dom, is attentive to the Sub. So attentive to the point that if the Sub uses the “Safe” word it calls into question the actions of the Dom.

So I ask you?

What if we lived our lives like that?  What if we lived so that we were so attentive to the person next to us they would not feel the need to defend themselves? 

What if us men adopted this as our attitude?  There would be no room for rape culture in an approach to our partners that emphasized such attention and respect.

Such attention is required in the BDSM.  With the infliction of pain, and use of fantasy, and the use of role playing a misstep can create considerable damage to a person.  And although BDSM is not overtly sexual in many instances, it does enter into the same vulnerability.  Thus, there is respect and consideration for each other.

I am not suggesting that we pick up the recreational activity of BDSM, but I do think that there is something to be considered.  Most of us who fill churches will hold judgements against those who engage in “Erotic Power Exchanges.”  Most of us will consider such conduct as immoral, yet when one considers the code of conduct of those in the BDSM community, such a judgment is questionable.

Especially as I consider some of the messages that I have heard coming from pulpits, blogs and on-line articles.  There seems to be a requirement for women to be subservient, not submissive, in a child like fashion.  And as for men, being Christ like, they are to head the house and to parent the little woman in the ways of the Lord.

I grew up in a family that was full of anger and hostility.  There was little if any consideration given towards the others within the family.  Both of my parents, one full of rage, the other full of booze had some standing within the community.  And for me, every since I was a little guy, it all seemed ass backwards.  Mom and Dad put on a mask of decency in public.  At home they were assholes.  It always seemed to me, that our refuge from the world, should be a place where we did our best to be kind and thoughtful of each other. 

I work hard at that ideal within my marriage, within my family.  I know that there are times that I fail miserably.  But I try to use how I treat my wife and my kid as measure of how I am doing as a human being.  Those times that I mistreat my wife or my kid, are times that cause me to shift my focus back to how I am with the people I love. 

So, don’t watch “Fifty Shades of Grey” it is crap.  As one meme I saw read, “Fifty Shades of Grey is a romance because he is a billionaire, if he lived in a trailer it would be the next episode of Criminal Minds.”  Tonight after I post this, and as Wanna and I lay cuddling, I want to explore some of the details of the game we play – marriage – and ensure that it all meets with her approval.

96. As easter approaches

And with it comes my discomfort with my conflict of the theology of the cross. 

But before I begin, let me state for the record the following...

1. I believe that Christ was crucified on Golgatha.

2. I believe that he rose from the dead.

3. I believe that his death satisfies the demand for sacrifice.

Where I part with conventional theology is who put Christ on the cross, and who demanded the sacrifice, and whose lust for vengeance was satisfied that day. 

Consider Hosea 6:6 - For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.

Consider Micah 7:18-19 - Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.

Consider Psalm 51: 16 & 17 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.

The problem that I have is this – if I ask you if God can create a rock so big he cannot move it, you would have an argument that this kind of question is not fair.  But I am told that God has created a creature he cannot stand – and this seems perfectly reasonable.  I am told that in essence that is the reason why God arranged for Jesus to be killed – God is infinitely offended by our sin, and because he is infinitely offended, thus require the ultimate in sacrifices. Only this thinking is not based on scriptures, but is based on theology.

“According to the 11th century monk Anselm of Canterbury who decisively shaped Western Christianity’s understanding of sin, violating God’s law is an offense against God’s honor. The offense is infinite because God is infinite, so the punishment for the mildest violation of God’s law must be infinite. Anselm took this to explain why Jesus, as an infinite divine being, had to die on the cross as punishment for humanity’s sin.” – Morgan Guyton

It seems to me that the requirement of sacrifice was our creation, our insistence.  Yes, there are loads of requirements of sacrifices in the old testament – but those instructions are written to a people that thought it was reasonable to kill women who were not virgins at the time of their marriage on the doorsteps of their family.  These are the same people that also thought that sacrificing children was acceptable. So I wonder.  The requirements for sacrifice in the Old Testament; were they demands or restrictions?  Just as I believe an ‘eye for an eye’ was not a recipe for justice, but a limitation on vengeance.

Isaiah 1:11 “The multitude of your sacrifices— what are they to me?” says the Lord. “I have more than enough of burnt offerings, of rams and the fat of fattened animals; I have no pleasure in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats.

As with most things I think the truth is much more uglier than the bill of goods we are sold.  For this God-Man who knew the stuff that we had done that we wanted kept secret, still loved us.  And this became the problem.  For along with his love, there was no condemnation.

The other villain that we point to, when we don’t point at God, is the organized religion of the day.  Granted it was the religious elite who did campaign to have him killed.  And Jesus certainly gave them much cause to, for the words of condemnation from Jesus that I have read are towards the religious. 

It was us, and it still is us.  We still sacrifice Christ every time we play the game of “that person is not a TRUE Christian.”  Every time we fool ourselves into thinking that there must be more that we have to do other than forgive others. 

Yes, I think Christ had to die.  But I believe he had to die for us as we could not imagine a God who loved us.  I believe that he died so that it would be us whose need for sacrifice was met.  I also believe that the true miracle of Easter is not his death, but his resurrection.  It was in the resurrection that we see the power of sin, the separation from God, being defeated.

So, as we proceed towards Good Friday – I have different sense of the day. I do not see it as the day when our salvation was secured, I see it as the day we killed God.  I do see our sin on Christ, but not in an act of atonement, but in our disgust in a God that could love us.  It is not relief I feel for the act of Golgatha, but regret. 

My theology on this all may be wrong – but it sits easier for me than blaming God for our act of violence.