In the past little while there have been
six sexual assaults out at the University of British Columbia. This past week, the Vancouver Police
announced the arrest of a man who had raped a woman after getting into a van
that she had thought was a taxi. And while
working on this entry the police have announced they are looking for a suspect
in the sexual assault of a 14 year old girl.
So
I have question. Where is the righteous
indignation? I have not heard, and I have been listening, to anything coming
from my Christian brothers and sisters who have denounced homosexuality. If we were interested in preserving the
sanctity of sex, then why are we so mute about rape?
I
have not heard any glaring statements from pulpits decrying the sin of rape,
sexual assault, or molestation. I have
not seen any signs saying “God Hates Rapists” Nor have I heard any comments
about women and children being trafficked for sex. It happens in Vancouver, and no doubt it
happens in the city in which you live.
And just because you are paying some pimp or drug dealer does not mean
it is not violent.
So I want to write, this day, about rape –
about men’s part in rape – all of us and how we participate in the culture of
rape. I am not worried about whether
there is a woman’s part, that is not up to me to address.
If
you have not heard it before, let me state it now – women were created to be
respected and loved. And know that as I
write of love I am not talking of sexual service. Rape, sexual assault and
molestation goes against the natural order that God intended.
The
story of creation, the story of where Eve, the first woman, was created from
the rib of Adam, the first man, is a powerful story. It is not about the man being created first,
it is not about woman being created for the convenience of man, it is about us,
men and women, being of the same substance.
If
you have taken the story of creation that woman was created to be of service to
man, then you have missed the point. It
points to a greater truth – that “woman is the bone of my bone, and the flesh
of my flesh, that she was taken out of man” speaks directly against violence
against women. I believe there are a number of reasons why the story is told
that way, and I think those reasons are just as valid today.
And
I want you to understand that sexual violence is not about desire, it is not
about lust, it is not about anything other than visiting violence upon
women. Women do not ask for it, women do
not put themselves at risk for it, women do nothing to deserve it. Those arguments and comments that suggest she
did something to entice sexual violence on herself speaks to the belief that
somehow rape is a naturally occurring event.
It is not. Women are not the
perpetrators of this crime, we are.
And
understand that if we remain silent, if we do not take a stand, then we condone
sexual violence. I think in this culture
that is that is the case. It seems to be
so ingrained that rape somehow is permissible,
understandable, acceptable, that we are put into a position that silence is
approval. And I would ask of all people, not just men, in taking a stand against
sexual violence to do a number of things.
They are:
1. Personalize such violence.
Wanna
works Sunday Evenings, it is not lost on me that someone, a man, would see her
travelling alone after shift and decide she deserves to be raped. After all she is inviting it because she is travelling
on the Sky Train alone. Personalizing the violence changes the conversation.
2. Understand sexual violence is not funny.
There
are rape jokes, and whatever else may be funny, rape, or another kind of sexual
violence is not funny. To participate in
humour is to state that sexual violence is okay. Just as jokes about domestic violence are no
longer considered funny, so should jokes about rape.
3. Understand that sexual violence is not
the result of how a woman behaves.
I
don’t care how she dresses, what she says, how drunk she is, she cannot take
your responsibility away from you. Each
person is responsible for their actions.
As my wife dresses in a way that reflects the value she feels about herself
that is not an invitation to assault her.
4. Understand how you, or me, are part of
the problem.
Understand
that as long as we see the problem being other people, nothing will
change. It is time to start the dialogue
– that being a man means taking responsibility for your actions. It is time to further the dialogue of the
humanity of women.
5. Understand that women are not property.
The
myriad ways we have of commercializing women extends far beyond prostitution
and pornography. Realize the subtle and
not so subtle ways we have of maintaining women’s roles as being property.
6. Finally, if you know a boy – so all of
you – I suggest that you read the following and have the conversation with that
boy or boys. It is time we got the message out – sexual violence is not part of
being a man.
That is my post this week – though I don’t
have any bible verses up, I think God agrees with me.
I am outraged! And shocked. And I applaud you for raising the issue in your community.
ReplyDeleteThe Bible, however, talks a lot about rape without taking a stand against it (e.g. 2 Samuel 13:1-22). And women are often considered to be property (e.g. the ~10 commandments - Exodus 20:17). Perhaps this is why the religious community is unable to lead in this area as you suggest.
On a positive note, you might find it helpful to quote the first version of the Genesis creation myth (remember there are both the Yahweh and Elohim versions) where God is described as creating man, both male and female at the same time. "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." Genesis 1:27.