Monday, 16 December 2013

48. The Ilusion of Separation



Are we separate from God?  More pointedly is God absent from his creation?  Was our being cast out of the Garden of Eden the same as our being cast away from the presence of God?  Have we been abandoned by a God that hides in plain sight, or worse yet sits in judgement on some celestial throne?

And if there is seperation – what is the nature of that seperation?  Has God rejected us?  Are we despised?  Has he grown angry with us, and thus has cast us aside?

The story of the fall is fascinating to me.  After we had done the one of two things he had asked us not to do, we then hid. We hid from God, we tried to hide ourselves and to cover ourselves with leaves.  It was our shame and our fear of God, that was the source of our separation at that time.

This concept is repeated in Isaiah 59:1 & 2
                   Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save,
    nor his ear too dull to hear.
But your iniquities have separated
    you from your God;
your sins have hidden his face from you,
    so that he will not hear.

So yes, there is a separation, but it is not God who has moved.  We have not moved beyond his grasp, nor have we moved so far away that he cannot hear.  Psalm 139 repeats this sentiment, there is no where we can go that God is not.

Psalm 139:7 & 8
Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

I understand being in the presence of someone, even God, and feeling separate.   As I look back I cannot remember what it was that I said or did, and truly it matters not.  It was a moment of stupidity, a moment of weakness – when my less that better nature got the better of me.  I do know that I hurt her.  Even as I write this, I feel the inward cringe, and tears tempt my eyes.  But I know in that moment, Wanna and I were separate.  We were in the same room, it would have been more comfortable for me to have been in another house, preferably in another city, in another country.

In that moment I would have given anything to have taken back time, and that act - something to show how sorrowful my grief was at that time, it is even so now.  Having experienced  that moment, not a moment of vileness, not a moment of wickedness, but a moment of weakness, that I view separation differently. I have spent months physically separated from Wanna, none were a painful as those few hours where I had to come to terms with what I had done. 

Separation – that feeling of apartness is not about a physicality, it is about emotion.  For us, I believe that it is about the shame and fear that is experienced in the presence of God.  Shame about what we have done, and fear of retribution.  God has not moved, we are not separated, but sin, which which keeps us from God, makes it so that we are unaware of his love for us.

This is more than just a philosophical or theological consideration – for in our separation from God, lies the heart of the practices that at best can be summed up as “I am better than you.” I believe, this separation from God, this feeling of being distant if not totally absent from his presence leads to many vile practices within religion.  For at the heart of this is our fear that we are in fact insignificant. 

This attempt to be better than one’s neighbour, is seen in a number of practices.  Legalism, of which many religions are afflicted, exists as an attempt to show that we are more obedient, spiritual, refined, mature, insert adjective here, than the person standing next to us.  Sacrifices as well are offered, some to appease the anger of God, some to restore honour to the family, others still as an attempt to show we are better than.

I believe it is this perception of separation, combined with a fear of death that lays at the heart of many of our practices.  These practices run counter to God’s will, for they detract from the Love of God, His Forgiveness, and focus on punishment – which I believe is something we people are much more interested in.

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