Protégées - Partners - Parasites
Excuse the interruption to my theological musings. I read an article this week that I felt
compelled to comment on - criticize. The
article identified that pastors need to identify three kinds of people
inhabiting their congregations. These
are protégées, partners and parasites. Obviously
two of these are preferred - no one except me wants to be identified as a
parasite - and I do only because of the sense of humour given to me as a result
of my brother playing Whack-A-Mole with me.
He would stand outside my crib with a croquet mallet and wait for me to
stick my head out. It was somewhat of a
relief when my parents bought my brother toys.
I was attending the Church
of the Drunken Charismatic Lutherans and was the usher of a Sunday morning
service. There was an elderly man
shuffling back and forth at the back of the church during the sermon. He
explained to me that his feet hurt when he sits. He had also told me that he
has been in-filled with the spirit of the prophet of Elijah. Before he resumed shuffling he asks if I
would come visit him in hospital that week as he was out on a day pass from the
Psych ward. I would go up to the hospital
to visit a friend of mine, and we would go play pool. The hospital's only pool table was in the
Psych ward. Thus I had chatted with the
prophet before that day.
Christianity is not cool - it is not hip - no matter how hard those
edgy pastors try to make it. I believe
that our efforts to make it a "Cool Kids Club" is an affront to the
teachings of Jesus. He taught that
unless we are willing to be geeks we cannot enter the Kingdom of God. We always form cliques, and there are those
we invite in – the ones that can make a contribution or that we like – and then there are those
we tolerate.
The other day I was driving
to an appointment and went through a section of the city that has a number of
churches in it. There stood a man on the
corner wearing a hand-made Sandwich Board sign that reads "Jesus is coming
are you PREPARED?" I looked at him
and felt an inward cringe - just what we need another idiot for Jesus. Then in my own defense I realized that he is
simply loving God in the way that he can.
The same way I do, and you do as well.
The problem is how do you tell who is whom? As I make my Cool Kids Club - and choose who
is in and who is out - I know that I would be left out. I would be the greeter
at the door shaking people's hands all the while my pants are undone as I am
wearing my bright pink underwear. It
matters not how hard I try, I suck at being cool.
When I knew him, he was a
warm and engaging man. As a lay pastor
he was exceptional. I once saw him
deliver the message at the funeral of a drug addicted teen who had shot
himself. The message was warm and
compassionate - and left us with hope that the young man had found the peace
that had eluded him in life. He also worked
for me. I believe he raped an autistic
boy on my case load - he had been left alone with the boy one afternoon. The caregiver came home to find the boy's bed
had been broken and the bedding put in the washing machine. It was the others on my case load that had
complained about his man that made the incident with the autistic boy take on a
sinister meaning. I would hang out with
the reincarnated Elijah or Mr. Are You Prepared any day before I would hang out
with this guy.
There are some underlying dynamics that would require the approach
of a pastor as needing to make such decisions.
Often we are content, as the consumers we are, to have our ministers
provide the service of shepherding the congregation. After all I tithe good money, and want to get
a bang for my buck.
Yes, the position of pastor is a position of prominence; however,
our congregations should be more than just audiences for Sunday morning worship. Our role in our church should be more than
just enthusiastic roadies when asked to help with set up, or tear down. I believe we are called to be of service to
each other. So if we have a person whose
need is intense, or immense, or seems otherwise daunting, it should be us as a
congregation that addresses this need.
She is an odd little
woman. She shows up and has coffee with
cream, sugar, hot chocolate and any other additive she can muster. She grabs as many goodies as the person
accompanying her will allow. Then she
makes her rounds saying hi to as many people as she can. Every Sunday she is there she comes over to
say hi, she holds my hand for far too long for my comfort, calls my wife by the
wrong name, but wishes me well. There
are times that those who support this woman in her life don’t get her there,
they don’t help with organizing her week so that Sunday she can go to
church. I miss her when she is not
there. She does nothing more than add an
element of joy to my Sunday morning.
I also choose to be a parasite for that in all honesty best
describes my relationship to Christ.
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