72. An Inconvenient Faith

Romans 12:2 - Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Marriage – if done properly is a decision to put someone else ahead of us.  While not quite abusive, it is a much different concept than those that would have us place ourselves first in our lives.  Marriage doesn’t work otherwise.  It is not even fifty-fifty.  It requires both partners to submit, and I think not to one another, but to the marriage, to the family, the home.

          Home is not a place where one puts their feet up and let it all hang out.  I think it should be the one place where we are on are best behaviour; that I am most mannerly, and considerate, and conscientious of those who live with me.  I was raised in a home where the people were so much different when they were out in the world, and not it a good way, home was not a refuge nor a sanctuary.  Home was where they came to take, not give.

          I am not recommending that one abandon oneself to abuse, neglect or ill treatment. But marriage is not a “What’s in it for me?” relationship; If the other person is not playing the same game as you then that needs to be addressed.

Mark 9:35 - Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”

In many ways I think marriage epitomizes the Christian faith.  At least in how we are called to be in the world.  Our Christian faith calls us into a life of servitude. 

          Do we really take the Gospel seriously? When I read it, I do not so much read the offer of salvation from punishment eternal or otherwise, but rather I see an offer of salvation from the insanity of this world.  That insanity, our fallen nature, is the me-first attitude.  So much of world, our love, beauty and peace is destroyed by this me-first attitude.

          For me the ninth chapter of Mark illustrates our struggle and who we are called to be so clearly.  The chapter begins with Jesus having the full Glory of God made manifest in him.  To me it would have been one of those, pee myself in awe moments, and I think should have left the apostles speechless for the next few weeks.  But instead they get arguing about who is most important – how much like us.  Their response to God is the me-first attitude.

          Jesus stops this dialogue and repeatedly say, “Hey!  It is not about who is the most important, it is about who is of most service.”

         

My involvement with twelve step programs has taught me the “Let it begin with me” philosophy, this turns the me-first attitude on its head.  Let me be the first to apologize, let me be the first to help, let me be the first to set things right.        It teaches me that in all things I must apply my faith, or belief, thus the “Practices these principles in all my affairs.”

          Thus, faith is an inconvenience.  I am drawn out of my life and into the lives of others.  I am taught that if I want to see Jesus, to look for him in those less fortunate than ourselves

            “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.”

A friend of mine celebrated 30 years of recovery last night. We had decided before hand that I would also celebrate the achieving of 30 years of continuous abstinence.  My thirty year mark was last November.  The best laid plans, became convoluted and confused and in short it was inconvenient to go over to Naniamo to join this friend in celebrating 30 years.  And yes it was good to see my friend celebrate thirty years, and yes it was good to see the associated friends, many of who I have not seen in many years, but it was not worth the inconvenience.

          As I was asked to talk and reflect on my experience in being drug free, I talked of my struggles.  It has never been an issue to stay away from drugs, in all the thirty years I may have had two or three cravings that were note worthy.  My struggle in living drug free has been in living.  I have had obsessions and compulsions to kill myself that even now, some twenty five years later, make me cringe.  So I talked about recovery and mental health and suicide.

          At the end of meeting there were the usual congratulations, and comments of good talk.  And then I met Steve from Ladysmith, not his name not his town, who was crying.  Steve suffers from PTSD and anxiety and addiction and has not found much in the way of support or understanding in the fellowship.  But he did this night.  He thanked me for talking about my struggles, and that he had found new hope.

          There were probably half a dozen people at the meeting last night that could have given the same message.  They haven’t.  Nor would they have the legitimacy or authority that is assumed with three decades of recovery.  But I could, and did.  If the bit of inconvenience that I have gone through has allowed Steve a better chance of being clean and alive, then it was worth it.  It is even worth having the more than slightly annoyed wife.  She may not understand, and I will try to explain it to her, faith is not a matter of convenience.

71. So...And Then....Then....And So

So...

I was down at a local store and I got talking to the clerk, and I was talking about the paint job I am giving my house.  At which point she said, “Oh, that is your house!”

          When I confirmed this she said that another customer had been commenting on the choice of colour and his remark was, “And he is even white!”

          So I guess I am pretty colourful for a white guy!

          I have included a picture of the house here.  As you can see my case of the “Refusal to Fit In” is terminal.  I am okay with that, although I am worried about being sued by McDonalds for using their colour scheme.  Wanna wonders if the neighbours like it, I wonder if I like the neighbours.

 And then...

My Fundamentalist Freak Friend posted on face book the following quote. “I don't care how anointed you are; if you're anointed and weird, you're a stumbling block to the gospel!” He and I have chatted, he threw it up to see what people might say.  I wonder if the person who made this statement has ever read the gospel, you cannot help but be anointed AND weird, normal does not mix well with anointed.

          But it did have me worried for a bit.  I have researched the guy a bit, not much, but he offers no definition of normal.  So I am starting to relax again.

Then...

I was lying in bed the other night reading over my blog posts. I came to realize that there has been a fair amount of struggle, strife and controversy in my life since I started the blog. (The truth is that all existed before I started blogging).  In fact there seems to be a bit of a theme, it borders on whining.  I realize that the point of my faith is to “Apply these principles in all my affairs,” and that is what I write about in my blog.  A working out of my faith.  I realize that I have made a number of interesting choices in my life, particularly my career, and this seems to invite conflict and controversy.  If I had to do it over again I would have stapled a hundred dollar bill to the bottom of my movie star application.  (A hundred dollars was worth a lot more in the seventies).

          Truth be told, I live a charmed life.  I have a wife who adores me, and gets me – she will fart and then throw the covers over my head.  Our home is warm and hospitable, even if chaotic and disorganized due to the on-going renovations.  And despite the fact that we have yet to conceive we have a kid, he even reminds me too much of me.  When it comes to brothers, I have won the lottery.  There are a number of people I could call up at a moment’s notice and receive help.  I have a career that I love, and suits me.  And, as a bonus it does make a difference in people’s lives. Like I said, it is a charmed life.

          But when you consider the starting point, it is amazing, and I am incredibly grateful.  It is not a case of “It could have been much worse.”  Those are the words of cold comfort we offer ourselves when things have gone horribly awry.  And, yes it could have much worse on any number of occasions.  Despite that, my life is incredibly awesome.

So...

My challenge – to myself – and if you want to pick up on it you are more than welcome to join – is to start every morning off in a prayer of thanksgiving.  As well, as I want to make sure to let those people in my life know that I am grateful for who they have been for me and the contribution they have made in my life.

1 Thess 1:2 We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers.

         

         

70. The invitation

About once a year I get together with my friend to have lunch.  We talk old times, and new times, and movies, and books and theology.  It is always good to see him, and I look forward to seeing him again.  Our schedules keep us preoccupied, and our callings keep us busy. 

          This day, we talk of the challenge of the gospel is to see Christ in all people.  We both acknowledge that it is a challenge to say the least, but it is a lofty ideal to strive for, just as being Christ to all people is also a lofty ideal.  Lunch ends with some more banter, and then we are off.

          Then two hours later...

A man is screaming at me.  It matters not who he is, you would have seen one of him too.  I have seen many of him.  He has been drinking, and that has added to the rage that spews from his mouth.  There has been a slight; we have played paintball too close to him, an excuse to vent the ugliness of his soul on someone.  He finishes with me, and charges off towards my friend.  He has his buddies with him.  My friend and myself are strangely calm, they do mean us harm.  After a number of long minutes, it ends.  There has been a shove or two, and the screaming man has shot me a couple of times with a paint ball gun he wrestled off of one of the kids that had been playing.  But it is over, and we leave.

          I have had other hims to deal with all through my life.  The man who is upset that I do not agree with his view of traffic regulations.  The man who has taken exception to some imagined slight to what I have said.  And the proverbial “Who you looking at?”  And in these men, try as I might, I cannot see Christ.  Although have had woman yell at me, there is not the same level of physical intimidation.

          This exchange, as vile as it was, is an invitation.  It is an invitation to ugliness, and it is compelling and seductive.  I am drawn repeatedly to think about what I should have done – of course these imaginings are always violent.  I am also drawn to curse the driver in the parking lot that is taking too long to get out of my way.  I am drawn to break bad on the next person that deserves it.  It is an invitation to be ugly of soul and spirit.

          Also I realize that I have been him.  I have waited for someone to say the wrong thing, look at me the wrong way, make a mistake so that I can be ugly.  But it doesn’t work.  I cannot be ugly enough or mean enough or nasty enough to ever take away the injury to my soul that I am trying to make up for by doing that.  From experience I know that such anger is the path of the fool.

          So I have this invitation to join him in the misery that encompasses his soul.  I believe, and I could be wrong, that there has been insult and injury that have brought him to a place where he thinks that is how you treat people.  It is a place of be fucked over or do the fucking over.  I also know that there will come a time when he will be treated as such.

There is also another invitation.

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.

There is also an invitation to do life differently, not conform to the pattern of the world.  And so, I pray for this man.  At first begrudgingly, then more willingly, and now sincerely.  I can see myself in him; that over the top rage at an imagined slight.  I forgive him, and have had to do so repeatedly. 

          This is not a great work, this is an act of desperation, I do not want to join that man in that life.  I also pray in gratitude that a number of other people were not there, it could have been so much uglier, and so much more damaging.  I also pray in gratitude that I am me, that I am not him.  As I cuddle my wife in bed this gratitude deepens. 

It has been just over forty eight hours since this encounter.  The bruises on my back, from the close range paintball shots, are turning interesting colours.  I am at a place where I am grateful for that experience. 

          Salvation, the idea of it, takes on a different meaning for me in light of the events on Friday.  By praying for this man I am working out my salvation.  My salvation is not from some eternal conscious torment, but from a state of being where that is an acceptable way to live.

          I would ask you, dear reader, to pray for this man as well. 

69. Mising the point

Matt 5:11 Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

This week there are two news items that I have followed.  The first is the Hobby Lobby story – the Supreme Court of the United States of America, voted that as an organization it is within their right to not pay for what are considered abortion causing drugs.  The second news story, is the decision of Naniamo’s city council to cancel a Christian conference at the city’s convention centre four days before it was scheduled to happen.

Both situations are touted by the Christian media as being indicative of the increasing persecution and intolerance towards Christianity.  In the Hobby Lobby case, it is being presented as victory over those who would trample our religious freedoms.  In the Nanaimo situation, it is being presented as being a clear case of bigotry.

It does not help that Hobby Lobby purchases goods manufactured in a country that practices extensive birth control including abortions.  It also does not help that Hobby Lobby have invested funds in companies that produce the very drugs that Hobby Lobby does not want to pay for based on their religious beliefs. The moral underpinning of the company’s stance against abortion gets negated by its practices in purchasing and investing.

The Naniamo conference was sponsored in part by Chik-Fil-A, thus the objection to the conference was based on an arm’s length association with an organization that has taken a stand for marriage to be between one man and one woman.  Chik-Fil-A has made donations to organizations that are opposed to same gender marriages.  So in a situation of seemingly five degrees of separation, the Nanaimo city council cancelled the conference. (It was a classless move by the council as they did this four days prior to the conference starting.)

Before I go on let me go on the record.  I think we as a church need to take strong stands against active discrimination and promote the fair treatment of all.  We have a pathetic track record in doing so.  Even in situations that seem so abundantly clear, such as racism, we have been slow to respond, when I think we need to have led the charge.  In fact, using the example of racism, we have often resisted efforts to secure equality for others.

Our refrain of “The bible tells me so” has worn thin as we used it to actively support racism. 

http://bytheirstrangefruit.blogspot.ca/p/start-here.html

I also know that in order for a news story to be sellable there has to be polarization of the issue.  So each of these stories have people lining up on every side to debate and ridicule and further the story to meet their agenda.  But there is a theme going on here, and I think we as Christians are missing it.  Intolerance will no longer be tolerated. 

A few months back a certain camouflage wearing redneck made some rather thoughtless comments.  The result was that the company who employs him suspended him.  There was a fair boisterous outcry for the protection of this man’s right to free speech.  The same right to free speech was not afforded the production company of his TV show.  The man could say whatever he wanted, and the production company was just supposed to stand there and take it.  Free speech for all, unless you happen to disagree with what I am saying.

WE, if you are Christian this means you, and it means me, WE have created a reputation for ourselves.  I don’t think the current backlash against us has much if anything to do with the name of Jesus.  We have created a reputation as being an intolerant and judgmental group. 

Yes, there are groups that have a reputation of doing good works amongst those cast aside by our society.  Dr. Martin Luther King, a Christian minister, was at the forefront of securing civil rights for the African American.  Yes, there are those whose agendas are to belittle our beliefs and to find fault with us.  Yes, in the very act of being intolerant towards our intolerance they themselves are being intolerant (kinda viral).  But to a very large extent we have brought this on ourselves.

So maybe we could stop missing the point?  I know that those around us are not really good at articulating the point – that for too long the message of “Love the sinner – hate the sin” is really one of hate.  When we add our voices to those that would deny basic rights to others, we are not protecting our values, we are denying others the expression of theirs.

Maybe we could be more outspoken in our compassion?  Maybe we could be a little more demonstrative of “Love your neighbour as yourself”? Maybe we could be a bit a more critical of ourselves, more humble?  Maybe, we could challenge each other to be more Christ-like in our dealings with people?  Just maybe.

Maybe we could stop bemoaning that people are being mean to us, and realize that they are just hitting back? 

Maybe we could consider, that if we want to be free to live our lives out the way that we think is right, we should afford the same courtesy to others? 

If we are really intent on being the light of the world, then maybe instead of being the moral sign posts, we can be guide posts on how to be loving and caring with each other?  Maybe we can work harder on pointing out our own wrongs and not those of the people around us?

Chik-Fil-A did. 

The company in response to a very public campaign against them responded, I think, in the most Christian of ways.  

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shane-l-windmeyer/dan-cathy-chick-fil-a_b_2564379.html

Chief Executive Officer of Chik-Fil-A, Don T. Cathy has risen to the occasion.  Chik-Fil-A has adopted the following as its policy in hiring – “will treat every person equally, regardless of sexual orientation.”  Mr. Cathy himself has developed a connection with the LGBQT community, that seems to be far beyond a simple publicity grab.

It is sad that Nanaimo city council did not do adequate research into the issue.  At this time, even this left leaning liberal Christian would want to hear what Chik-Fil-A or any group associated with them would have to say.  Particularly, in light of the more recent actions of Mr. Cathy and his company.