108. Committing Idolatry with God

As best I can tell, we pick and choose which parts of the bible we take as being literal – those passages that accurately reflect the events of the day; the sections that are meant to be figurative and provide illustration; and most importantly the parts that we decide to obey.  For example, I know of a church that takes a strong stand against homosexuality, but also hosts a pub night where it is not uncommon for members of the congregation to get drunk.  What is curious is that there are more verses admonishing drunkenness, than homosexuality.  Those verses that discuss homosexuality and sexual immorality usually include a reference to drunkenness as well.

          Or consider, that I am told that when I sin God is infinitely angry at me.  The logic goes that God is infinite, and when he feels an emotion, that emotion is felt infinitely.  So, his anger at my being unable or unwilling to look away from the scantily clad woman is infinite.  This is quick followed by the belief that something, namely me, needs to be punished eternally so that God can unleash his anger.  Yet, the Psalmist tells me that God’s anger is just for a season.  Further, I am told that God is more interested in mercy than sacrifice; and that to experience forgiveness one simply has to forgive.

          The one that I find most damaging though, is that God causes everything to happen.  This seems to be based in part on Ecclesiastes when Solomon tells us that there is a season for everything, and in part on the book of Romans telling us that in all things God works for the good.  This is a far cry from God making me turn left and in doing so I ran over someone’s poodle.  But, because God is the agent of all actions, he wanted the poodle to die to serve his own purpose.  Then just because we don’t understand why the poodle had to die, means that we cannot fully grasp the majesty of God, which relied on this poodle being dead.  (My humblest apologies for poodle lovers.)

          I won’t even engage the entire prosperity gospel.

Most of religion, as far as I can tell, is an attempt to mitigate our insignificance, and the randomness in life.  Life sucks.  There is no other way of putting it.  Calamities happen for no other reason than they happen. It is our desire that they have a reason.  It is our desire to mitigate simple chance, cause if there is a reason, then maybe we can do something to stop the bad stuff from happening.

          In the end, I think most of us, and myself included, develop a sort of idolatry.  We make God in the image that we want him to be.  This might not be all love, rainbows and good feelings.  Our understanding of God, and mine has been in the past, is created in fear.   

          In creating this idol, we often practice a form a magic, let’s call it wishcraft.  If I am good, as in I go to church, help with the orphans and the widows, tithe not ten percent but fifteen, show up early and leave late, then God owes me.  I may put in terms that I am storing up treasures in heaven, but the sentiment is much more crass.

          This approach to religion effects every religion, and in the most surprising places.  Paganism, often will identify this approach and be quite blunt about it.  But I have also seen it in Buddhism, and Hinduism.  Say the proper prayers in order to be rewarded.  Do an act of merit, and your karma improves.  It is a spiritual economy, a series of transactions, and it is based on debts owed, and favours earned.  And at best this approach leaves us fearful, and at worst it makes us despair.  I have felt both of those.

          There are a number of traits that this kind of faith has that perpetuate a life of fear and anger and competition.   The first of these traits is that I see is a need to be certain, that I, or you, have the correct understanding of God.  There is little room for doubt, and thus little room for mystery.  The second is a focus on how I can make you a better Christian, and how I do that rarely has to do with being of service. 

          This approach, I believe, distorts how we read scripture, and how we relate to God, ourselves, and the people next to us.  And to large extent, I believe it religiosity from which we are saved.

This week, as I blogged already, I was baptized.  And in startling maturity, it was simply an act of obedience, no, it was an act of gratitude.  I know the symbolism, and the scriptures, I was forgiven before I was dunked in the water, and curried no favour with God as I came out.  If there was an effect of this act, it is that there seems to be more of a substance to my faith. 

But I will continue with all this in the next post....

107. An Act of Obedience

“I have a lot of faith. But I am also afraid a lot, and have no real certainty about anything. I remembered something Father Tom had told me--that the opposite of faith is not doubt, but certainty. Certainty is missing the point entirely. Faith includes noticing the mess, the emptiness and discomfort, and letting it be there until some light returns.”

- Anne Lamott, Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith

1 Corinthians 12:13 “For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.”

On Saturday evening, I will be baptized.  I was baptized as an infant, but it was not my choice, and thus it was not an expression of my faith.  And not to criticize my parents, but as I read scripture, baptism is an act of obedience of the person being baptized.

          Baptism has not been part of my thoughts for quite a while.  If those people that I hang out with on Sunday mornings were not forming their own church, I would not be considering baptism at this time.  But they are, and they are Baptists, and they are fond of dunking people in the name of Jesus.  So, here I am getting ready to be Baptized.

          As with everything else in my life, being baptized has become complicated way beyond reason: at least in that area between my ears.  The concerns are many, and run rampaging through my mind. It is these concerns, the level of doubt, and reluctance, that lets me know that this is more than just a simple splash in a pool. 

          The concerns are, to start with, a public confession of faith in Christ still seems a rather vague statement.  Other than this blog I don’t expound upon my faith often, or with people that don’t know me.  I am not embarrassed about Christ, in fact just the opposite, my experiences with him are profound and I would want you to have those same experiences.  It is the assumption that if I believe in Christ I also believe in a number of doctrines that makes me reluctant to proclaim my faith.  So, just because I confess a faith in Christ, does not mean you will know what I believe.

          The testimony I am to give prior to being dunked, is supposed to be short.  I would want a full twenty minutes to explain my faith.  I would probably need more to fully explain it.  So there is some worry about whether I can come up with anything meaningful.

          I also don’t know if I am ready.  Then again, is anyone every ready?  To be honest, I don’t feel like I am good enough.  Part of the appeal to Christ, for me, and part of what convinces me to have faith, is that the being good enough is not part of the equation.  But honestly, I don’t if I am a good Christian deserving of being baptized. My walk of faith has been full of doubt, and wandering, and questioning, and then wandering away again.  Backslidden is not a term I would use, for I have always believed in God, and in Jesus.  I still swear like a sailor, struggle with lust, and have more than a few moments of grumpiness.    

          Part of this reluctance is the entire ‘Salvation by Correct Belief’ that I see rampant in the Christian faith.  There are so many doctrines that I think have been arrived at to make us scared of God that I reject.  As I get ready to be dunked, I am aware that there is still doubt.  The comfort that I derive from understanding the opposite of faith is not doubt, doesn’t offer as much comfort as I would like. At least I have lost the belief that God wants me to go be a missionary to the unsaved hamsters in a third world country.

But I also know that I have been of service.  In my walk, and as I share faith, through this blog and various chats, that others have felt inspired and encouraged to develop their own faith.  So despite my misgivings, I know I do live my faith. And I know that I have been an example to others.

          I also know, and this would be the reason why I am being baptized, is that I feel compelled.  I am called to deepen my commitment to God, and to borrow a phrase from AA, as I understand him.  I am called to deepen my commitment and compassion to those around me.  I am called to be open to be of further services to God. That is the statement of obedience I am taking.

 I think I have just come up with my testimony for before I get dunked.

I am also having the hardest time not sticking a couple of Alka Seltzers in my mouth so that when I am brought out of the water, I looked possessed.

106. Finding Compassion with Each Other

If we could stop the inflammatory rhetoric, that would be good.  The people opposed to bringing the 25,000 Syrian refugees here by the New Year are not racists, nor are they islamaphobes, nor are they stingy, cold hearted or mean spirited.  Those people opposed to the resettlement of the Syrians are not ignorant.  They have a legitimate concern regarding their safety, and the safety of the country.

          The war we are engaged in is nothing like we have seen before.  Yes, the enemy has a clearly defined territory, and much like any other war they are seeking to expand that territory.  This group also uses social media to spread not only their message of hate, but images of their brutality. And, unlike other wars, it seems like enemy combatants make their way far beyond the front lines of that war, and wreak havoc. 

          Attacks such as the ones in Paris, the most recent and the one in the spring, or the Boston Marathon bomb, or the attack in Bangkok in August.  All are random, all carried out in the name of a religion.  Even if they were not carried out by people acting on behalf of this new enemy; they still seem to be the same.  It still exposes just how vulnerable we really are even in our own homes.

I, and those who stand with me in support of welcoming these refugees, are not bleeding heart liberals. Nor have we been duped.  It is not stupid to want to resettle these people to Canada. There have been other comments about those in favour of giving refuge to the first of the victims.  But we are not star-eyed idiots that think that a simple show of compassion will change the world.

          We know that there is risk involved, even if that risk is over stated.  But we also know that unless we risk peace, it will never come.  There is nothing wrong with us for wanting our country to take compassionate action.

When I first heard of the attacks in Paris I was angry.  I detest bullies.  My knee jerk reaction was to wish that there was an eternal punishment.  These assholes deserved to be there.  It took some time for me then to worry about the Syrian Refugees, for I saw the backlash against them coming.  How horrible, that this group claiming to be a country, has made us afraid of those people fleeing them.

          Yet, France, the very target of the attacks, has pledged to bring in even more of the refugees.  Curiously, those committing the acts of terrorism in Paris were citizens of France, and Belgium. 

         

Those who are opposed to the Syrian refugees are also quite aware of the threats made by this group to hide amongst the refugees.  They have followed through on other threats, and have added new ones.  The bombing of a Russian jet being one such example. 

          And so there is fear. 

          Most are not even opposed to bringing over that many refugees.  They would like to see the process slow down, not drastically, but enough that they can feel reassured that we are helping the right people.

In my opinion, the attacks in Paris were masterfully executed, with the desired effects.  There is increased fear of others.  There have been arsons, assaults, and ugly confrontations within Canada as a result of these attacks.  Thus, the point of the attacks have been successful.

          Those who are fleeing this group, the group we fear, are finding opposition to finding safety.  Refugee Camps are not safe.  This group conducting the war, has made us afraid that bringing the refugees may bring the enemy as well.

Those who are behind, or in favour, of this mass resettlement have done a disservice by not explaining the process – clearly and articulately – to the public.  Thus, leading to reactions made out of fear.  Even with the flood of protests against welcoming the refugees, few if any details have been made public.  Which is a shame, for often education will relieve our concerns.  The other antidote for fear is love. 

          Finally, in the last few days, the process of how refugees are selected, and who we are selecting, and how they are vetted, is being brought into the awareness of Canadians.

So, I will chose love over fear.  I will not let those bullies, and I refuse to name them, stop me from showing my compassion.  I have already been a vocal advocate for the resettlement of the Syrian people, and I will continue to do so.

          Do I think there will be repercussions from bringing in these Syrian refugees, and the others who will follow?  Absolutely.  But not from the refugees.  Those who want to make us afraid, will undoubtedly take action.  And, I may experience those actions directly if not indirectly.

          But I think there are greater consequences for not taking action.  For our country to lose its reputation as a leader in compassionate action would be a significant loss, and is but just one of those consequences.

So I urge you, whichever side you are on to do a few things.  First, let’s stop calling each other names, and being angry with each other.  Secondly, educate yourself, and not from just one source.  Far too many sources want to establish themselves as being the only source of true information – while they peddle lies.  Thirdly, pray. Then take action.  Whether that be writing or calling your MP to share your view. Or, to get involved in the local efforts to welcome these people – even if it is making a tuna casserole for the new family down the block.  (At some point they will have to experience that part of Canada.)  But together, as we are Canadians, let’s find our compassion.

105. From one generation to the next

Eph 1: 4 – 6 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will — to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

It has been a strange week, or actually a strange couple of weeks.  Those of you who have followed along on Facebook, have read about my meeting my brother from my dad’s first marriage.  The meeting was decades in the making, and was a profound experience. For those who witnessed the three brothers, Robert, Laurie and myself, meeting for the first time, the event was remarkable for the level of familiarity the three of us showed.  As Laurie and I entered Robert’s home, the discussion started as if we were resuming a conversation from a few days previous.

          It was very clear as we spent the three days together that we were indeed brothers.  The commonalities ran from the professions we had chosen, to our quick wits, to having families that had no natural children – but each of us bringing kids into our lives as family – to physical similarities, and our escapades with alcohol and drugs,

          What also was striking is that each of us is in recovery, having a period of abstinence that are decades in length.  Which for me, being theologically obsessed, led to consideration of predetermination. 

One of the more repugnant doctrines that I had come across is the concept of pre-destination.  That prior to the start of the world, God chose only some of us, a select few, to enter Heaven.  Its repugnancy comes from there being those who will be born simply to fill the halls of hell.  After all, if you going to create eternal damnation, you will need people who will experience that fate.

Numbers 14:18 The LORD is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion. But he does not excuse the guilty. He lays the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected--even children in the third and fourth generations.'

Then this morning I was in a different meeting of the family.  One of our members, has experienced a rougher than usual childhood, with rougher than usual consequences.  When one considers the generational traumas and calamities, it is indeed curious.

          My aunt, the matriarch of that branch of the family, became a widow five weeks into the life of her youngest child; a daughter.  My aunt coped with this tragedy, as the family tells it, by taking to her bed.  The youngest child spent a life of being passed from one family member to the next, with my aunt resistant to any one member of the family bringing her child into their home.

          This child, in turn, had her own children.  Each of those children, grew up distant from her.  The youngest child, a girl, had her own child.  Who, has been in the care of the government for the past year or so.  It is a pattern that can be seen without a lot of examination; grandmother, mother, and daughter.

          When you add the propensity for the family’s addictions and questionable mental health, the entire sense of trauma is greatly compounded.  One starts to see that the youngest in this chain had the deck stacked against her, and her child.

I doubt that it is the punishment of God being visited from one generation to the next. I can see why one might see it as such.  But there is something afoot.  What we do in this life, sets in motion so much else that we will never know. What also is striking is that the events that set in motion this chain of events started fifty four years ago. The woman for whom the meeting was for this morning never knew the person that made the decision that through cause and effect shaped her life.

         

I am left with a greater sense of humility.  The choices that I have made in my life for which I am so proud of seem less like the choices I made.  I am not sure what it was, or who it was that led to my being able to get clean, but I look at my family. Collectively we could create its own twelve step program. It seems that there are greater forces at work.

          I am also left with a mindfulness of what I do. 

          Although it seems to be clearest when the actions set in motion are damaging; that there are repercussions that cut across time and space.  But I also believe that it works it both ways.  That the good you do, or I do, ripples through the years, and distance, to have an impact on a distant life.  Or at least I hope it does.