131. My Wish for You this Christmas

Most of the people who read my posts are those who have found Christianity lacking.  Not the faith so much, but the translation into an organized religion.  It is easy to see how we have managed to create this rift; the rift between what is possible, and what we limit ourselves to having.  It is this rift, that keeps many people out of the church, and seeking faith elsewhere.

          To be honest, we limit Christ and his call to compassion from the time he was born, to the sacrifice he made on the cross. We not only limit our understanding of this divine drama, but the power that he has in our lives.

Consider the Nativity Story; we have sanitized it beyond recognition.  We have taken a drama, that threatened even the life of Mary, and made it into a romantic made for TV version.  It is a shame.

The Christmas story, the real one, is about Christ coming to earth as an illegitimate child.  Mary, being pregnant out of marriage, should have been stoned to death if the Old Testament law was followed. So Joseph, either the most stand-up guy in history or the greatest patsy of all times, gets her out of harm’s way. A donkey ride to Bethlehem gets Mary out of Nazareth – a town so insignificant it was almost forgotten – and to the safety of another village.

          There was no census as the bible tells us, I think Mary traveled for safety, it was a trip of necessity, not of inconvenience https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Census_of_Quirinius Scholars tell us that the narrative was changed to make it a better story.  Yet, the truth holds greater truth, obviously, greater mystery, and greater power.

For me, the nativity story is mostly why I am a Christian. God sought to join us as we are. God so loved the world, that he sent his own begotten son to us. It is a reversal of the temple system where we would prepare ourselves to enter the presence of God. He has come to us, he still does.                              What is curious is that he did not stop there, for we are told, that he descended into hell.  This is based on few scripture verses, Acts 2:31; Ephesians 4:8-10; 1 Peter 4:6; and, most importantly, 1 Peter 3:18-20. His descent into hell strikes me as such a Christ thing to do.

           

So, my wish for you this Christmas?  That you allow Christ to enter your life.  It is a dangerous thing to do.  Christ himself warns us from doing so, why else would he tell you to weigh the costs.  Christ does not respect our agendas, dogmas, or theology.

          Do not worry about the overly dramatic being called to a foreign mission field – it is unlikely that you will be called to minister to the unsquashed hamsters of Nepal. That would actually be easier than what we are called to do. Nor, would I worry about joyless lives of obedience to God.

          Rather, we are called to do two things.

First, we are called into relationship with he, or she, who has made us.  The dramatic coming of Christ that happened two thousand years ago, is repeated on a daily basis.  He comes into our lives with little respect for what we want, he comes with power and compassion.

          We are called to simply enjoy the presence of the divine. There is no other agenda than simply knowing that we are loved, and lovable. Most of us, skip this step. And in the wise words of someone else, we cannot pass on what we do not have. 

Yes, there are the obvious changes that we are called to make.  If you are beating your spouse or children, please stop.  If you are destroying yourself through addictions and other means, again, please stop. But we need, must, learn the presence of God if we are to follow him, or her.

Second, we are called to treat those around us with the same compassion and love that we are shown.  That is why we need the first step.

          I look at Christ and his ministry to others.  He always seemed much more interested in being with people, than he did in correcting them.  In fact, those he was most interested in correcting were the religious.  Even the often quoted verse, has that he will come into our lives and dine with us. So be with people, love them, let their worry be yours, let their sorrow be yours.

It is my wish for you this Christmas, that you are able to without agenda, or desire, to allow God into your life.  It will not make your life easier.  Doing so promises to put you into conflict with the world around you, and in particular the church. Yet, there is joy and freedom to be found in such love.

130. What I fear even more

There is something worse than who has won the US election. Much worse. That is the divisiveness that has been created around this election.  It is within that divisiveness that I believe evil lurks.  One of the greatest factors in violence is to see the world as “us” and “them.” It is how the greatest of atrocities have happened. It bothers me that this divisiveness has stomped, not crept, into our country. The divisiveness is a bigger threat to us than anything else that might be posed.

          The divisiveness has caused all of us to insist on being heard.  Not a good start to a conversation, for none of us are wanting to understand the other side.  And as much I might disagree with the other person, they have something to say.  In my insistence that they listen to me, and agree with me, the only response that makes sense is to simply get one’s back up.

To be clear, I am not advocating for people to simply and quietly accept the election of President-elect Trump.  I don’t, and will not.  What am I pointing out is that our little band of Christians cannot afford to be divided over this issue.

This past week I have seen a number of articles about how evil Muslims are if given half a chance. The difficulty with these stories is that they point out conflicts that have been between people, often longer than formalized religion has existed. They hate each other because their great great great grandfathers hated each other, not because of who they worship.  The narrative is that we cannot trust those Muslim bastards, and they would persecute the North American Christians if given half-a-chance.

          The greatest threat to us, Canadian Christians, is the person sitting across the aisle from us.  It is the vitriol that we spew at each other and the world around us, that will be our undoing.  Collectively, we Christians keep bumping up against issues that some will claim will be worth dividing the Church.  Think about that for a moment, what issue could possibly be worth rending the body of Christ?

          The only issue I see is not from outside of the Church, it is within.  That issue, is our conduct in the world around us, and with each other.  I am not suggesting that we submit to those we disagree with, I am suggesting maybe we treat the other person with the respect that we might want to afford our Lord.

One of the lessons I think Trump offers, is the futility of the entire Politically Correct efforts of our society.  In shutting down the speech, did we really address the underlying biases? I think not.  For me, it seems that in the end, we simply stopped the dialogue. To this, I would add, that some of the vilest stuff I have heard has come out of the sweetest mouths, and stated so nicely.  If Political Correctness had actually changed how we viewed the world, could we have had Trump elected? We must engage those we find objectionable in dialogue.

So, how do we listen to each other respectfully?  I encourage people to disagree with me.  I have two things that I insist on.  First, is that you are thoughtful.  Do not tell me “The Bible says…” if you don’t read the thing, and have only heard it said that it is in the Bible.  Do not quote a Facebook meme as fact if you have not actually checked to see if it is true.  Secondly, be respectful. 

  

So here are some ideas.

First, let’s afford each other the dignity of having our opinions. I should be just as interested in why you believe the way you do, as I am in what you believe.

Second, maybe we could afford those that we elect into office, the respect their position commands.  Regardless of what I think of the person in office, they have had enough people who respected them to put them there in the first place.  The only thing that I prove by name calling the person, or otherwise maligning them, is that my position has no foundation other than my own ignorance and arrogance.

Third, speak our truth quietly, clearly, and at times forcefully.  I come by my beliefs very passionately.  The damage to myself in not speaking out has been felt in my soul.  While I refuse to no longer be silent, that is not permission for me to be ugly to others. I fear the greater loss of our humanity, and compassion, than of an argument.

Four, know what we are talking about.  Our media is not interested in the truth, they are interested in continuing a story.  I think the days of investigative journalism has passed.  The outlets, which are all owned by large corporations, are interested in the sensational, that which will sell, not in the truth. The research I do should be more than just stockpiling ammunition; I need to be open to being wrong and learning more.

Five, let’s not speak rhetoric to each other.  I am tired of seeing people using terms simply because they sound smart.  In the end, we do little justice to ourselves, and we confuse the person we are speaking to.

Six, realise that the other person has legitimate and genuine concerns.  Unless the other person is intentionally being an asshole, they have come by their concerns honestly.  To be dismissive of that person’s stance, regardless of how objectionable, does no one any good.

And let’s remember we are playing to a greater audience, and for higher stakes.

129. Thank God for Donald Trump

If you are a fan of Donald Trump, and easily offended, it might be an idea for you to pass by this blog post.  For well over a year, I have refrained from speaking out.  Part of that decision has rested with my desire to not really be alienating to people. The other part, has been left overs from my involvement with 12 step fellowships and not having opinions on outside issues.  But, I have changed my mind.

         

I grew up in alcoholic home, and if you have experienced that, you know all too well the elephant in the room concept.  The idea that somehow, we dare not point out the obvious.  This is done not to upset the alcoholic. That works until there has been something so outrageous that one cannot deny the obvious unless they want to appear really, really, stupid. 

          So, as I watched and waited, and hoped that people would not elect this man, they have.  Well, not really, but that is the American system. At last count, Trump won having close to two million votes less than Clinton.  But, people did vote for him.

          What I would like you to know, is that the true victor in this election was rape culture.  We have a man that not only made gross comments about women, but gloated about sexually assaulting them.  The "grab them by the pussy” comment, will be our generation's ‘shot heard around the world.’ To personalize it, the world became just that less safe for my wife.

         

I could go on, but that is not the point in this blog post.

The message, if there is one, is that we cannot trust our governments to do what is right. 

This is an exciting time. I think we stand at the brink of something great. 

If we want equality, and acceptance, and freedom, we must be the voice of that change.  I like my Muslim neighbours, they are just the same as you and I, wanting to get along in peace in this world.  As for a threat, I am less secure around my fellow white Christians.  I like my Hindi neighbours, as well as Sikh, Indian food is so good.  And they, like the Muslims, and the Christians, and you and me, just want to live their lives. I can say the same about Buddhists, Jews, and others, but I think you get the point.

          I like my gay neighbours.  They want to be able to love and live with those that they choose. Hmmm, just like you and me. I think the world is a better place with their public displays of affection, than the public displays of violence that we have tolerated. – Yes, gay bashing is still an issue.

          I love women.  While I am faithful and devoted to Wanna; I love women. Short, tall, skinny, chubby, blonde, brunette, dark haired, pink, yellow, or green haired.  I think how we treat women, reflects on our value of life. 

          So why this laundry list of people? Well, if I take scripture seriously, and I do, I am commanded to love my neighbour. These are my neighbours.  Freedom of expression for them, is freedom of expression for me. It is only when others are free to worship God the way they choose, that I am free to worship God the way I choose. 

          So, why title this “Thank God for Donald Trump?”

To use the analogy of an alcoholic…the drunk has puked on the dinner table, fallen over and taken the entire table setting with him, and is now passed out on the floor. It will be hard to argue that we as a culture are not misogynistic, or racist.  Yes, we Canadians did not vote for him, but how many people do you see celebrating his victory? And tell me that we do not look south of the border to decide how we should be in the world.

          The good news about Donald Trump’s victory, is that it is left to us to stand for what is right.  We have to stop hoping that other people will step in and fix the world.  It takes more than just voting the right way.  It takes more than just protesting when we feel like it. We need to decide that if we want change, then it needs to start with each of us individually.

This blog post is my taking the next step.

Oh, and in case you wondered, I have not forgotten our First Nation’s people.  I think we owe a great debt.  Understand that righting this wrong, is good for us; it makes us better people.

https://archives.fbi.gov/archives/news/testimony/the-terrorist-threat-confronting-the-united-states   

128. The Conversation

It has been another week of racially charged violence in the states. A black motorist shot and killed by police responding to another call, that came across his car which had broken down. A protester shot point blank in the head with a rubber bullet. There were more, but I think you get the idea. And I am thankful that I am in Canada. Comfortable, cozy Vancouver where racism seems to have abated.

          Sure, we had residential schools, as late as the mid-nineties, and the Komagata Maru incident. But we were the land of freedom, the end of the line for the underground railway. And now Vancouver is an ethnically diverse city - which makes for great dining. I attend a predominantly Chinese church, and do so because of the teaching from the pulpit, the group of people, not as an expression of my new found openness to ethnic diversity.

          I think it came as a surprise to my friend and pastor that I at one time had been explicitly racist. I never burned a cross or such, but I was pretty selective in who came into my life. Sure, I tolerated different cultures, but they could stay more than a few steps away - which is why I find the concept of tolerance so sinister. One tolerates that which is objectionable; human beings should not be subjected to being tolerated. But that was a life time ago, and through healing and love and acceptance I am less racist than what I once was. The question, as I have heard it put, is not am I racist, but how am I racist? You can feel free to ask yourself that question too.

          Like I said, I like the comfort that this racial violence happening elsewhere affords me. There seems to be no urgency in addressing the remnants of hatred. After all, I am no longer the problem. Or am I?

The tolerance I give these days are to those who are racist. It is not just us white folk that engage in it. I tolerate it by not wanting to rock the boat, by letting comments, and attitudes pass because I do not want to really confront the issue.

          For to confront racist ideology, and I am writing about my racism, I know that I would have to question my involvement in church and in fact all of Christianity; and I am not sure I am quite there yet. I fear that once again I would distance myself from the organized religion, the institution, of Christ. The question that lays in wait, is am I willing to support an institution that is explicitly racist by keeping involved in it. I refer to the larger body of believers. Is it really for our own comfort that we join to worship and be Christ’s presence here on earth, with our own kind? Is that comfort based on not having the discomfort of having to deal with a group who is different from us?

I don’t know.

My own little church I see as being a seed. Pastor Dan has gently broached the subject of race on a few occasions. It is odd to see a Chinese person address racism in a group of people that my people would send into tunnels with dynamite because it was too dangerous for white people. Yet, in conversation with some of those within my congregation I see the same ignorance.

          So, by attending church, do I support an institution that discriminates? Or is my presence there the start of a shift? I know that within my little congregation that I have called bullshit on a few occasions. I imagine there will be more. Do I really serve as an example and thus do good?

          It is little comfort that my God had little tolerance for bullshit. What I want in church is a refuge from the world I am in everyday. I am seeking a gentle yoke. I fear the yoke that is being offered is another cross.  And yes, in case you are wondering, at least in my opinion, the larger body of the church is quite racist.  In fact, in popular Christianity I see one of the last refuges for racism. 

          This blog is not the seeking of answers.  I know that there are no easy answers.  In the conversation with my friend and pastor this week we discussed when, not if, and how the conversation of race needs to happen.  When it does, I will be a willing participant.  I also hope that the conversation leads to more development of our church and its role in the world around us, and the nature of our worship. 

127. A Lesson

A curious thing has happened. I am grateful that it has come to my attention. The lesson to be learned is important enough that I want to share it. As well. I am narcissistic enough to share it; one needs to be a bit of a narcissist in order to blog.

            Most of you know that what I do, I believe is missional. It is a combination between my passion and what I think is a legitimate calling by God. As those I work with take on those people that other agencies avoid, it helps with that sense of sacredness.  Thus, I believe that this is the Lord's work that me and my cohorts do. And in doing so, we have become successful.

            The success is beyond what I thought it would be. And that success has come despite the efforts of those that have opposed us. It has come in spite of the gossip that precedes us. This success has come from a number of different factors: the dedication of those who work with me, those who have seen the value in what we do, and the experience, skills and wisdom that I bring to bear on how the organization is run.

            In no small way our success also lies with God. I believe that I get to do what I do because she has decided that we need to do what we do. It is a responsibility, honour, and privilege that at times can be dizzying.

            It has been over the last few months that there has been a significant shift. We have crossed the financial threshold into being a medium sized agency, and are poised to be a large agency. It seems to be that there is a begrudging respect for who we are as a group. We are known for the compassionate care, our ethics, and our dedication to those we support. And what confuses all of us, is the sense that we have a truly unique approach to our work. We don’t see what we do as being special in anyway, we do see it as unique. 

And then the curious thing happened.

The curious thing that happened is that the business slowly shifted so that it has become the most important thing in my life. It has usurped a number of priorities. My faith. My marriage. My cycling. It is easy enough to do. Our success seems tentative. It still feels that we are one clusterfuck away from failure. It is not unreasonable, given the people we work with, to expect that one of the characters we support might die, and we might come under scrutiny once again. It also might be, that feeling on edge has become habitual. This business is fickle; today’s hero can become tomorrow’s villain in a heartbeat. Especially when we work in a field that is quick to find fault.

I have also seen, first hand, the unraveling of four other agencies. Three of those agencies no longer exist, the other one still exists, but nowhere near what it once was.

The other aspect, the secret that I do not share is that I feel like a fraud. That somehow I have managed to deceive people as our agency has grown. It is that 'lemonade stand' approach - that I am just an overgrown kid who has gotten way out of control, that lies behind this awkward sensation.

In the past few weeks, if not longer, things have changed. As I write this, I realize that I have been practicing what I call 'wish craft’. Us Christians do it all the time. If I recite the magic words enough, or do the good deeds often enough, then God will give me what I want. It is an attempt to barter with God. It is seen in the old testament when sacrifices are made in order to get the favour of God.

            However, it is toxic religion, as it seeks to impose my will on the world around me. The practice is also based on a lack of trust. And in my case, it took the focus off of what had made us successful in the first place.

            This shift in my focus, will not last forever. I have done this work enough to know that there is an ebb and flow to growth. We are about to impose an ebb. We are closing our doors for winter to consolidate our growth. We are also germinating the seeds of new projects and new services. Maybe, as we pause life will get back to some balance. That is if you think hundred-mile bike rides are balanced.

           

The situation reminds me of a John Cougar Mellencamp lyric – “I know there is a balance I see it when I swing past.”

The lesson?  I realize this is where so many have gone wrong, when the calling overshadows all else. It matters more who I am, and how I do life, than what I am doing.

Anyway, thank you for reading this, it has allowed a sense of sanity to return. At least for the time being.

126. Embracing the Binary

Two weeks ago I posted on rejecting the binary - the idea that life is an either or concept.  That life is really lived in the spaces between extremes. The idea is that it is the tension between two extremes provides the very foundation on which we live.  As a Christian my faith needs that binary to create that tension.

          Personally, I see a number of paradoxes, and wondrous contradictions in scripture and in my faith. As Karen Armstrong writes often the point of scripture is for us to be able to see the grace of God; sometime that takes longer than others.  It is understanding those paradoxes and contradictions that allow us to do see that grace.

          Our faith calls us to live a life for which language is inadequate. It is our attempt to simplify our faith that creates extremes, and in doing so makes fools of us.  For me, the life of faith contains certainty about only a few things. 

          Salvation is by grace alone, but we are judged on our actions, and if scripture is to be believed there will be some of us sent away from heaven. Thus salvation is both a gift of grace and a result of behaviour, and yet we ourselves cannot win our salvation. (Salvation from what is yet another discussion).

          It is a similar paradox to sobriety.  While I am unable to follow through on my choice of whether to use or not, I need God.  Yet, the gift of recovery does not last unless I take action.  It is that wondrous combination of the work God and I can do.

          God is incredibly merciful and loving and yet seems be incredibly callous. Making the sun rise on Auschwitz and on those running the gas chambers. Do not misunderstand me, the same freedom granted to us that allowed those acts of horror is the same freedom that also allowed us the acts of courage that intervened. The second world war showed us at both our worst and best. Shamefully, I don’t think we learned anything from it.

          I am called to be gracious and forgiving but also to do so with discernment. To turn the other cheek and yet not cast pearls before swine. I will ignore that the glorious pig is portrayed as a villain. (I like pigs.) I am told to invite strangers in for they might be angels, but am also told that there are those that I should not even sit at the same table as they.

          Personally, I shift from unbelief and that this is utter nonsense to confidence in Christ. On my darker days I think that while there is a God, us Christians have it wrong. On my brighter days there is joy found within my faith. 

          As I said before, contradictions form the fabric of life (different words but same idea). I also know that what was once true may no longer be so. That what I believed as I started my life has now changed. Even the violence of my convictions, passion, has softened. As my perspectives on life change, as my experience grows, as my mental and emotional health shift, so does all of life. As I shift from one end of the spectrum to another.

          But there is something else. As I age, mature seems to be the wrong word, and my perspective changes as well, there I still find God. I consider Thomas, and his doubt, and Christ’s reaction to it. Jesus met him where he lived. And perhaps, for Thomas to have faith, he had to have doubt. For, if I am to be free to choose to be compassionate, I have to be free to choose to be an asshole. I have had times when being compassionate was being an asshole. If I am to be free to believe, then I have to be free to doubt.

          Life is about being in between. Being in between sunrise and sunset. Acceptance and rejection. Love and indifference. Hatred and joy. As the teacher in Ecclesiastes teaches, each has their season. Life is lived in those spaces. The certainty that I see people crave, the desire to live at one end of the spectrum does not allow life and I suspect does not allow God. The vulnerability that is created in being in between, being uncertain, allows God into our lives. It requires faith to live in that balance.

          So this week as I saw a friend of mine making statements I think are total bullshit, I paused and realized that she, like me, is living in the space defined by paradoxes. While she might be at one end, I very well might be on the other.  I have found peace with what I see as being another Christian looking like an idiot.  My prayer for her, is that she is able to give up the comfort of feeling certain, and come closer to God.

          It is only when we allow ourselves the vulnerability of uncertainty and doubt, embracing the binary, that we can shift our reliance to God.